Mothers and our eating: is it their fault?

This is a little controversial.

Our mothers.

Don’t they have rather a lot of influence on our lives?


When it comes to eating, food, and body image, mother soften have passed along a story that’s quite intense about food, cooking, serving others food, eating, body shapes and what they should be.

They learned, just like we did, what was acceptable, good, perfect, or successful.

And they showed us.

Sometimes, they showed us very well indeed. 

It’s quite profound, however, to be the one who questions any painful story you’ve heard, or learned, or thought….when it comes to mother.

Here’s a story that may surprise you about my mother, and what I felt when she said “I’m so proud of you”.
I wasn’t happy.

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Much love,



Do you hate your looks?

Breitenbush friends inquiring together in The Work of Byron Katie annual summer retreat 2018

We all have parts of our bodies we think are ugly, imperfect, wrong. Often the thoughts for people with eating issues about the body are that you must be thin. Keep staying thin. Get even thinner. Never be fat. Ever.

The obsession to be thin can actually backfire. Completely. We become so sure getting thin is BEST we’re totally identified with our goals for the body.

Here’s a powerful question to ask, if you notice you’ve got wishes, urges or hopes to be thinner–or something other than what you are right now:

What would I have, if I had this condition? (thin, muscular, smooth, strong, perfect).

What do you think “thinness” means? What qualities do you think you’d have, if you got thin? What would you experience, if you were thin?

When you identify your answers, you can then question the thought that Thin=Happy.

Who would you be without this story?

For me, I quit being vigilant around food. I quit obsessing about making sure I had enough, or the “right” amount of food. I quit going into the future about food.

The present became more peaceful.

Turning the thought around: Thin thinking is my success, I do not need this body to be thin in order to be happy.

Out beyond ideas of thin or fat, there lies a field (of peace, freedom). I’ll meet you there.

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Much love