Eating and traveling: whether days away or out in a new place…safety is with you

So many of us have had the thought “I have no idea what to eat!” or “I need to make sure food will be where I’m going that I can eat!”

We feel lost, confused, full of analysis.

We have to read about “the plan” or understand “the diet” and have someone tell us what to avoid, what to add, what to never eat, what to always eat. Maybe we take books and calculations with us everywhere, so we can look up whether something is “allowed” or not.

Then we plan and manage food, and take food with us on trips when we travel, even if there’s plenty of food where we’re going.

Not that there’s anything wrong with finding structure and balance that’s peaceful and supportive. Education is sometimes amazing for this. Asking questions is also helpful, when you have them.

(I’ve worked with many people who follow a food plan for awhile in order to learn normal portions, comfortable ways of eating, balanced amounts and types of foods).

But what if you had a built-in compass that could support you in a balanced way with what you eat?

Well, you do.

It’s not in the mind.

Which is tricky, because the mind gets so loud and brash, it appears to override our experiences and take over everything….including (it seems) our contact with the wisdom in our own bodies.

Yet, the mind never kills off our access to the body.

In the body has an inner compass or refined measuring mechanism that is through the felt senses. We feel “enough” or we feel “too much” when it comes to eating and foods.

How do you find connection with this built-in compass you already have, since the day you were born?

Slow Down.

We don’t follow the impulses of the mind or emotion so quickly. We question “I need to eat that immediately” or “I need to eat x to be happy” or “I need to NOT eat x to be happy”.

Who would you be without your story about what’s going on around you?

What if it wasn’t frightening to be without a thought or story about what’s going on with food, eating or your weight?

What if it was peaceful, relaxed, and natural instead?

If you’d like to come experience what it’s like to question your thoughts, in a loving, kind, supportive environment so you tap into what’s happening in the mind, what’s happening in your emotions, what’s happening in your body….

….then join me at Eating Peace Retreat 2019. We begin Weds evening 7 pm on January 9th and end Monday morning 11:00 am on January 14th.

You may experience the relief of discovering your inner compass that you thought didn’t exist anymore. The one that you can hear again that says “enough” or “done” and the one that says “let’s eat” with joy and freedom!

When we pay attention to the body, we’re attuned with the natural flow of What Is, not grabbing for concepts about foods and eating and bodies that really are not true–or are only ideas in the mind.

If you are not able to come to retreat to experience the joy of questioning stressful thoughts and eating in peace, then enjoy this guided meal meditation right here.

You can do this. If you’re wondering whether or not you can, remember it’s a process, a practice. You can question that you don’t have what it takes.

Is it true? No.

You can find trust, balance and joy in the flow of eating where no kind of food is evil, poisonous and frightening, and you get to notice what works for you and what doesn’t, without shame, fear or control.

You were born this way. You can return to it.

If I can, so can you.

“The most peace I have ever felt in my life with food was at the Eating Peace Retreat.” ~ participant

Much love,

Grace

 

Deep abiding eating peace happens one step at a time, not by following Urgent Mind

Urgent Mind. It will scream “something needs to dramatically change RIGHT NOW!”

And maybe add in a few cuss words and demand that you go on a fast, yesterday, and quit your sick behavior with food.

It will threaten, cajole, condemn and criticize with grand viciousness.

Sometimes, speaking from personal experience, we really can make changes–for awhile at least–by listening to the Urgent Mind.

But that same urgency can also pop through when you have the idea to break the fast, or go off the diet, or get the food into your mouth.

QUICK! NOW! MOVE IT! EMERGENCY!

I never found it worked to follow Urgent Mind’s commands.

What to do instead? Slow down. Take micro steps.

Notice what is, notice what’s happening, and get support.

Today, I’m talking about the tiny but abiding voice of peace and kindness and yearning that’s within all of us.

It is possible to slow down, and not approach our relationship with eating and food, in this moment, as so horrendous and full of failure.

Watch below for more on this idea, and if you’re wanting to participate in the quiet practice of Slow Mind – Slow Eating, then come to the eating peace retreat.

Eating Peace Retreat is a profound ways to reset your relationship with food and eating….and your thinking.

It happens this upcoming year from January 9-14, 2019 beginning Weds evening and ending Monday morning, in Lake Forest Park, Washington (my home town).

Join me for an absolutely beautiful time in inquiry and peaceful, mindful eating, for every meal.

Strangely, our goal is not weight loss (although that can be a side effect) or thinness or pristine eating or health management (although, again, all these usually wind up happening as side effects).

Our goal, as a group of wild, wonderful, deep inquirers….is freedom.

Freedom from obsessing, freedom from managing, freedom from controlling, measuring, analyzing, criticizing, documenting, endlessly evaluating our eating and our food and our bodies.

Our intention is freedom from caring so very desperately about food and eating so that we become filled with Urgency and panic.

What I find, is as I have inquired, relaxed, accepted myself and followed my natural hunger and fullness….the fear has diminished, and dissolved.

You can come experience yourself with inquiry and peaceful eating for five whole days and start 2019 off by hitting the reset button on your approach to eating and food.

Instead of force, control, or fierce will, we discover trust, acceptance and love and the power of these to affect change in a most sincere and abiding way.

Sign up for the annual Eating Peace Retreat right here: https://eatingpeaceprocess.com/retreats/

Maximum 12 participants. If you would like to repeat the Eating Peace Retreat, I have a small coupon for you (please write for the code).

Our beautiful group assembles in a private elegant cozy January retreat house we have to ourselves. There are five bedrooms for those who wish to stay overnight (two are already taken). To read more details about the retreat before committing, visit this page here.

I’d be so honored to have you join us.

But honestly, from the bottom of my heart, you will ultimately find your own retreat within. As they say “the way in, is the way out.”

So even if you can’t come all the way to Lake Forest Park, Washington for eating peace retreat, you absolutely have access to a peace beyond your beliefs when it comes to eating.

“Hi Grace, I wanted to thank you for a wonderful retreat. It was life changing. The Work has been such an amazing tool in my life and to combine it with eating peace could not be more perfect. In my heart i feel it was the missing piece and exactly what I was hoping for when i signed up and more. I am so grateful and excited to practice eating peace in my daily life and continue to use The Work on my stressful thoughts around food and eating…Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your guidance, wisdom and teaching, it is such a great gift to share”.~ participant from New York

“Grace, As I returned home I can very clearly notice, that eating without silence and in rush now is not fun at all. I WANT to eat slowly and take a good care about myself. It is so loving and beautiful. I am happy to see I am again being aware of my thoughts about food and hunger and different kind of wanting. Grace I am very thankful to you for manifesting in my life and for bringing the inquiry about food and hunger. I really needed this retreat, I feel refreshed, stronger and more aware about my body and its real needs again. Thank you so much Grace, thank you for presenting your workshop in such a dignity, balanced and elegance way. It was for me a real honor and privilege to participate, observe and to learn from you”. ~ participant from Wisconsin

“The most peace I have ever felt in my life with food was at the Eating Peace Retreat.” ~ participant from Colorado

Much love,

Grace

 

When you think you only have two choices at a feast: gorge or vigilance, do this.

There’s a feast coming, a big event, a meal, a dinner, a soiree, a party.

Food will be there. In abundant quantities.

The way I always used to experience the feast, and the anticipation of it?

I’ll either white-knuckle control myself through it (and plan exactly what I’m going to eat beforehand)….OR….I’ll eat whatever I damn well please and gorge myself on whatever’s there.

There’s really another option besides these two.

We don’t have to fight a war.

Who would you be without the belief that you can’t relax in the presence of food, or eating, or other people eating, or people?

What if you felt mixed feelings, and you could STILL relax?

What if ultimately, being at a feast is not a huge wild overwhelming problem?

“The mind is like a friend. It comes to be questioned…As the assumptions come in, we can question them. I can’t control my mind, but I can question it. It leaves me in a place of curiosity. I don’t have to worry about it. I love the noticing. I notice thoughts about the past, I notice thoughts about the future. It’s such a privilege to be aware. I notice images of the past, future. But they aren’t real. Noticing what’s real and what’s not, it leaves mind at home with itself. Noticing, noticing, noticing.” ~ Byron Katie
Much love,
Grace
P.S. My one retreat all year on eating peace. A life-changing event, to experience peace with eating for 5.5 days, and work with the mind. Jan 9-14, 2019. Out-of-town people can reserve a room at the retreat house.

I can’t stop. Eating Peace Immersion begins this week.

So grateful for all those of you who came to the Eating Peace free webinar this past weekend.

As always, I think the last one went the best of all. Please enjoy the Breaking The Spells webinar right HERE.

And now, the new Eating Peace Immersion group gathers for the upcoming seven months to explore our inner stressful stories, being in loving support, un-hooking from internal violence or fear, and relaxing with what is.

In this Eating Peace Program, we’ll be diving for an entire month into each of these five modules, with pre-recorded lessons and practices addressing each one:

  • Module ONE: Breaking the Spells of Suffering with Food and Eating
  • Module TWO: Satisfied, Safe & Balanced–Whether Hungry or Full
  • Module THREE: Trauma to Triumph–Inquiry & Power
  • Module FOUR: Body Attack Cease-Fire
  • Module FIVE: Living in the Yum Zone

No, we’ll never be on facebook inside this program. The facebook group I’ve mentioned is a free group for anyone wanting to be in inquiry around compulsive or emotional eating. This program does NOT meet there. (Too distracting).

Every few days (and sometimes more often than that) a new lesson is released. It’s pre-recorded and created to follow along, building brick upon brick of practices and insights for our eating peace path. This is all about coming home, step by step on the yellow brick road, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.

We’ll take approximately a month to walk through each “module” or topic, with our lessons and practices.

As we begin the program, you’ll share with me your vision for eating peace and the way of eating you prefer right now. It may be a more structured plan and it may be “eating 3 meals a day sitting down, with no x type of food” and it may be “eating between a 3 and 7 on the hunger scale”.

You sit with what works for you, keeping kindness, support and just the right amount of clarity and pleasure in mind.

From there, the focus when it comes to food itself is on when and where we have trouble with it. We get to investigate when it’s calling like a magnetic force, or when we find ourselves disturbed with what is, or what’s happened.

These moments are fabulous clues for looking closely at our minds, our thoughts, our feelings….and inquiring.

We begin to pull in other ingredients to our daily lives, like compassionate listening, partner work with others (if we choose) and of course our regular inquiry telecalls as a group. We sit in silent meditation (everyone begins with five minutes a day) or become curious about why we don’t want to sit?

A base foundation for eating peace is relaxing. How many times have you screamed at yourself? Has it worked?

Maybe for a day or two. The violent internal thinking never worked for me.

A remarkable part of this program is the level of live contact. You have the option to dial in, believe it or not, 5 days a week.

Three of our calls are for 30 minute meditations in inquiry on very common and profoundly stressful thoughts when it comes to eating, ourselves and our bodies or food. These three shorter inquiry meditations meet Mondays 4 pm PT, Wednesdays 9 am PT and Fridays at Noon PT.

Two of the calls (Tues 4 pm PT and Thurs 8 am PT) are longer 90 minute sessions addressing our topics and practices with Q & A and personal coaching, and inquiry if we have time.

Not everyone will attend the calls live, of course. But hopefully your schedule will make it possible to be on one of the longer 90 minute calls, and at least one of the short inquiry jams. They’re intentionally offered at a variety of times so your time zone or schedule works.

But the good news is, they are all recorded so even those who can’t make a thing, and if you actually prefer listening only….you’ll have them all on recording to use as a guided practice for your own learning.

As we move along through the days and weeks in the program, we become willing to fully feel our disturbed feelings and the places we’re compulsive. We become acutely aware.

We take a look at the images, rules, beliefs, ideas, fears we have about all this troubled eating, just one belief at a time (thank goodness, only one is required).

I’ve done this many times myself, and I’m still thrilled to enter such an inquiry practice. I get to apply and refine where I sense my own thinking wanting to move away from accepting powerfully What Is.

I notice a compulsion with over-working, for example.

My belief: I have to keep working, creating. Like a dog grabbing a bone or a monkey not being able to let go of the food with a tight fist.

I can’t stop.

Is it true?

Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Are you sure you won’t be safe if you stop? Are you sure you’re truly unable to stop?

Hmmm. No.

How do you react, what happens, when you believe you can’t stop?

I panic. I just do the thing (eat, smoke, drink, work). I ignore the disturbances within and press on. I resist.

Who would you be without this belief that you can’t stop?

WHAT?!?

You mean….

Yes. What if you didn’t know anything about stopping or not stopping in this moment, and you sat with this moment here now, not believing (thinking repetitively) over and over that you can’t?

Turning the thought around: I CAN stop. My thinking can’t stop–only my thinking. But I can. I don’t have to believe everything I think. I am able to sit still, even if my mind is yelling to keep working, or get something to eat, or starve myself even if I’m hungry.

I find this lighter, curious and fun. I become interested in testing out my ability and capacity for stopping, and for becoming a true explorer of this inner world.

An Eating Peace Explorer. Awesome.

The usual approach to this whole eating problem is to apply a technical fix around food management. Whenever I solved my eating problem this way, I spent more time thinking about food. Not less.

This inquiry work, using the powerful Work of Byron Katie, allows us to catch the movement towards compulsion, the habit of escape, avoidance, resistance.

When we see this quick-moving moment of focus on food or eating or weight-loss or self-criticism, we know to slow down, and sit with the discomfort. It’s there anyway. No amount of compulsive force will hide it forever.

Here’s the magical thing that happens, though, when we take a look, or even become willing to look at what troubles us: the usual pattern shifts.

Slightly in a tiny sliver of almost imperceptible change. Or, in a big lurching movement towards another view, and destination.

Who knows. The process moves in whatever way is just right, for you.

What I’ve found is we do not have to be controlled, or to follow, the directives of our unquestioned thoughts.

We can discover how to do less about food, or anything, and end the cycle.

As our life with self-inquiry unfolds, our life is touched by joyful, happy, balanced eating because our thoughts are no longer frightened, violent, confused or arguing with reality.

And even when we’re stressed, or scared….we do not have to turn to thoughts of food, dieting, or other obsessive behaviors (drinking, drugging, smoking, spending, buying, ruminating, fantasizing, using, planning, working, busying, cleaning, worrying) to address our troubles.

Wow.

The Tin Man: What have you learned, Dorothy?

Dorothy: Well, I think that it wasn’t enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em–it’s that, if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with!

What good news. We have not lost anything. We are not missing what it takes to completely heal our compulsions.

All we need to do is to inquire, and find our honest answers.

“If the mind depends on anything, it becomes the I-Know mind, and ego flailing around in apparent space and time, always trying to define itself, always trying to prove that is judgments are real, that its whole world is real. The mind’s only way out is in: the mind inside itself, Buddha-mind, responding to the illusion of a self. Once the illusion is questioned, it can no longer exist. It appears as inconsequential, funny, and completely insane.~ Byron Katie in A Mind At Home With Itself

If it’s right for you, I hope you’ll feel brave enough to take the journey in through the months ahead. We have five calls per week offered through April, then Tues/Thurs only through June.

Everyone in Eating Peace Program can participate for free in Summer Camp For The Mind (week day inquiry practice for 6-7 weeks in July and August for everyone and anyone in the world).

Everyone who joins has access for life.

You can sign up here. (Scroll down to see the payment options).

As far as I can tell, there’s not much to lose…..except your stressful stories from the mind trying to prove judgments about lack-of-success, eating, food, bodies, acceptance, love, approval and rest.

I’d rather question my thinking, and become the one who it no longer occurs to flail about (eat) in a frightening or irritating world.

“You either believe your thoughts, or you question them….there’s no other choice.” ~ Byron Katie

Let’s inquire, together.

Ahhhhhhhhh.

Much love,
Grace

Do you believe it’s impossible for you to be normal with food? You might want to question that.

I was deeply moved to receive this note the other day after someone watched the recording of the Eating Peace Webinar. The last live session is Sunday, November 11th at 10:00 am Pacific Time. It will surely be slightly different–I change things each time I do it:

“Grace, I have to say that this was the best understanding articulated on this topic ever! Does Byron Katie know what you have accomplished here? Magnificent, important, Rhodes Scholar work…and most helpful. Thank you so much.”

This work of eating peace in some ways has been my entire life’s work, because like Geneen Roth has said, it has been my doorway into understanding my sense of presence and awareness, and fear and agony about being alive.

Exploring our compulsion(s) is truly at a deep level the work of consciousness, the personal mind that believes it must be in control (or feels out of control), the way our perceptions move us to action, and what’s happening when we eat (or do anything) off balance.

There are so many approaches to healing our ways with eating.

We know something’s wrong. We usually believe it’s us.

We’re simply “addicts” or we’re too emotional or we’re trying hard to cope or we’re lazy or we’re rebellious.

This work of Eating Peace is for me about evolving. It’s about watching, wondering, and becoming the one who is in balance and at home with oneself.

Quite some time ago, a friend suggested to me that the dawning awareness and the end of compulsive eating behavior that I’m so passionate about studying, is like the journey of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz.

I’ve been thinking about this as I prepare for the new group who will travel together soon in the Eating Peace Immersion program.

Dorothy lives in black-and-white (not color) as an orphan on a farm in Kansas and a tornado comes along (disordered eating, craving, desire) and sweeps her away to another country full of sparkles and learning and frightening encounters and flying monkeys.

Through her journey she’s understanding the depths of her nature, including compulsion.

So today, I wanted to share a very key belief that you may have running, that’s really important to question:

If you’re interested in learning more about this immersion journey we’re about to take together, where a group will travel online, live to share in accessing peace with food, visit this page here.
Love to have you join me. Registration closes at Noon Pacific Time on Tuesday, November 14th.
I Feel An Indescribable Peace
“What’s been happening for me since the EPP course ended is that my inner mentor has been coming forward more and is now ready to be fully in charge. I’ve realized that the compassionate advisor is my own inner mentor and she’s the one that shows up during the work for “who would you be without the thought”. It’s been powerful for me to see that this is ME and not an external character….I am a mentor to so many so of course my inner mentor is key to deepening my eating peace process. It’s so clear now. I feel an indescribable peace.” ~ Participant 2017-2018 
Much love,
Grace

The Work is meditation. It’s about awareness. It’s not about trying to change your mind.

Starting today, The Work daily on facebook live. We can do this, together.

True Confessions: I have so many ideas and offerings for eating peace, and studying the way compulsive behavior occurs (and how to dissolve it)….

….it may seem like an information overload data dump of invitations from me to come do The Work on eating, food or body image. Webinar, class, another webinar, facebook, youtube video, eating peace note, webinar again, in-person workshop, facebook live.

What is going on? So much!!

Maybe like a binge. Heh heh.

See how I am? Some things never change (haha, I question that).

I jest, but I appreciate those of you who have asked “what are you offering, and when are you offering it, and what venue and where, because I’m confused!!”

So if you were confused by webinars, facebook thingies, videos, needing to opt-in or wondering where you’re supposed to go to find out more about Eating Peace in any form, then you really are not alone.

There are two things:
1) Breaking The Spell of Eating Battles webinar
2) Facebook LIVE daily Mindful Inquiry for Eating Troubles

TODAY November 4th, if when the one-week mindful inquiry course begins: The Daily Practice of Eating Peace. We’re going to question our thinking.

This course will happen inside facebook in the eating peace facebook private group, with a live video each day. You can come live so I can interact with you and your comments and participation OR you can watch the recording later–it will be saved immediately and stay right there in the facebook group.

I’ll offer one thought every day I have found exceptionally useful to question if you want to stop over-doing eating or dieting or anything compulsive. We’ll inquire together Nov 4th-10th.

Our focus is on compulsion around eating, weight, body image and food, because that was my thing. And it felt horrible.

To join in this daily facebook live deal, simply request membership in the group here. No opt-in with emails required.

So the second offering I’ve been yakkety-yakking about for weeks is a 90 minute webinar called Breaking The Spell of Eating Battles. I’ve held it twice so far.

I’ll offer it one more time live on November 11th, but if all you want to do is WATCH the thing right NOW….please enjoy it right here. If you click that link, you’ll get taken to the recording. Yes, I had so many requests and I truly hope it serves.

Phew. I hope that was a bit easier?

If you feel like letting me know what the webinar is like for you, or you have questions or feedback, I’d love to hear from you. Write to me by hitting reply to this note, or emailing grace@workwithgrace.com.

Hopefully, these two Eating Peace offerings I’ve just mentioned are more understandable now, and it will be easier to “consume” them (and not overdo it).

Keeping it simple is such a beautiful thing. The mind loves complication and finding the right answer, doesn’t it? Or the right diet or way to live with eating and food and exercise. Mind will say there’s a right way, and it’s not here (sad day).

The calmest way I know, is to question anything that feels positively absolutely permanently “right” or “wrong” and notice what’s here now, in this present moment, with awareness and patience and compassion.

Which brings me to sharing with you something that came out of one other third in-person thing I did in Seattle. OK! It’s a lot! I know!

During the presentation and workshop, I summarized three beliefs to question if you’ve experienced compulsion in your life and wondered how to stop doing the thing(s) you do that don’t serve.

They’re broad areas, but amazing questions and beliefs to bring to the four questions and turnarounds. So I’m sharing them with you here:

What to do now?

Get out your notebook, or find a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet, and begin to identify just one thought at a time that runs through your mind, that when you think it, you hurt. It feels bad. You feels stressed. You eat. You obsess about Not Eating. You think about food and diets.

Then, start contemplating that thought using The Work.

“Take each judgment separately through the inquiry process. The Work is meditation. It’s about awareness; it’s not about trying to change your mind. Let the mind ask the questions, then contemplate. Take your time, go inside, and wait for the deeper answers to surface.” ~ Byron Katie on her basic “how to do The Work” instructions.

Much love,
Grace

P.S.
Registration is excitingly underway for Eating Peace Process which begins November 13th. Awesome beautiful inquirers are joining, including those who are repeating from previous years. Read about it here.

Rage Eating: what to do first, if you’re eating in anger

Is eating a battle zone? If it is (it was a nuclear war for me) you can sign up for my free webinar offering here.

Then on November 4th a new experiment in sharing: an 8 day challenge in eating peace on facebook live. Sign up HERE to receive daily alerts via email for the live course and you can also find me on facebook here. I’ll send out the schedule very soon for everyone participating (we meet in mornings Pacific Time).

When my eating world seemed like a battle zone, one of the primary emotions propelling the ups and downs….

….was rage.

Rage Eating.

I was so furious at the rules, regulations, requirements, management, arguments, powerlessness, enforcements.

It sometimes felt like the whole thing, all of life really, was one big thing to “deal” with.

I’d hold my breath and take it, and do what was needed, and then something would snap and the anger would come out sideways like a geyser.

In the form of eating food.

Everything I ever wanted I ate that day, from one end of town to the other.

Then, of course, I’d feel absolute disgust, hatred and rage with myself.

Several years ago, I witnessed on video Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of non-violent communication, speak about facilitating raging mad prison inmates to find peace with others.

The inmates rebellious hatred of authority or “the man” had a similar feel to rage eating I had done.

The feeling of anger at What Is Greater, and the feeling of anger at ourselves at the same time.

I didn’t like myself when I raged against anything (even though partially it felt like a relief at first), and I’d isolate and hide from the world after the eating or raging was over, licking my wounds. Which is an interesting way of putting it using the word “licking”, right?

There’s something soothing about licking, what some animals literally do for their own wounds. It’s normal to find food and eating soothing, like medicine for the attack.

What Marshall Rosenberg did with these gangs of men who were so furious, was offer them a way to be heard and then speak, then listen, and use “I” statements instead of lashing out and making accusatory statements.

Rooms with hugely violent emotional energy in them completely softened, as men heard what others had to say and became willing to listen a moment and wonder what it was like to stand in the others’ shoes and consider who needed what, including themselves.

When no one felt cut off, hated, or disrespected… …something pretty remarkable began to happen. People found themselves able to relate to the other.

Then, in that space of connection and listening, dialogue could continue, and understanding.

What are we afraid of? What voice are we trying to shut down or cut off, because it’s frightening? Where do we feel we have no say, or no way to get our needs met? Where does it seem like you have no choice but to eat (or do some other kind of compulsive behavior)?

Was it really true that I was being pummeled by life, or that relationship, or this circumstance, or the rules about food, eating and being thin?

Who would I be without my thoughts, my story, about people, places, things, food, or my own mind coming at me?

Just today, a beautiful inquirer doing The Work on her feeling of compulsion with eating said that without the thoughts of fighting with something, fighting with others, fighting with the craving….she’d be aware of the vast nothingness around.

And suddenly, not so comfortable with it.

Sometimes, the wild mysterious vast expansive place we can experience when we wonder who we’d be without our story of arguing with reality…..

…..is a bit frightening.

But there’s one simple place to begin, when you notice you’re experiencing angry eating. You can at the very start question your thought that you shouldn’t be angry.

Is it true?

Without the belief I shouldn’t be angry, and I shouldn’t eat over my anger, I could ask myself what my rage is about? What does it have to say?

This would be a very kind thing to do, and a very loving-parent thing to do. It would be a respectful, clear, open-minded orientation to the experience of rage, and to feeling unmet needs, and to sharing life with others here in this world.

“To imagine that some little thing–food, sex, power, fame–will make you happy is to deceive oneself. Only something as vast and deep as your real self can make you truly and lastingly happy.” ~ Nisargadatta Maharaj

Maybe uncovering your real self begins with saying what you’re angry about, and listening closely, with respect.

I hope you’ll also join me in the Eating Peace webinar.

Much love,
Grace

Eating Peace Process 5 month Immersion starts November 13th. Short lessons each week, group calls every week, 3 live inquiry calls each week. Lots of contact and connection to dissolve isolation and share in honesty and freedom.

Eating Peace Immersion Webinars – dates have changed and I can’t wait to have you

sign up for the webinar to hold your seat by visiting here: http://bit.ly/eatwebinar2018

I’ve changed the times and dates for the 3 Eating Peace Live Webinars coming up called Breaking The Spell of Eating Battles.

This webinar will cover:

a) the #1 spell to break to end your eating agony

b) three stories to challenge and question

c) understanding control and lack of control–and the endless flip-flop between the two

First, I’ll share the big spell to break with self-inquiry, and how you’d actually do this. This #1 spell is a doozy of a false belief that so many of us repeatedly think and brings us to stay in shame and guilt. It brings so much suffering, and zero change.

Next, I’ll share three important stories you can identify that are personal to you, and questions to help you find them clearly.

These are stories you’ve experienced, and continue to tell, about three big areas where what we think often brings suffering:

1) body image – what does “thin” or “fat” or “just right” actually mean to you? We’ll dig into this in a way that doesn’t just make assumptions that any shape is right or wrong, and still be open to change

2) buffet terror – you’ll get to do the buffet imagination exercise and understand your fears about unlimited food

3) fear and comfort – fear is often laced through our ideas about eating, body shape, pleasure, other people, and even life in general. You’ll get to understand more about this powerful emotion and how it relates to eating compulsion.

Finally, part three and the last thing we’ll cover in this immersion webinar is learning how to get off the in-control vs out-of-control merry-go-round cycle without using force, determination, rules, or falling into complete despair or denial.

Wow, in this webinar there will be a whole lot. Please set aside 90 minutes and if it goes more quickly–huzzah! (Or is that boohoo?)

And here’s the thing, so I don’t bug you with too many emails for all of you on the general Eating Peace email list, if you have interest in participating live in any of these three eating peace masterclass webinars, be sure to sign up here. I won’t send a reminder or details to this general list.

You’ll enter your email and name for a smaller segmented list only for those who are interested specifically in attending the webinar. Your name and email will be kept private and when the webinars are all complete, the list will be deleted.

These webinars will be interactive and my deepest intention is that you leave with an awareness of the key spells to break in eating wars, and that you’ll know where to go from there.

Eating Peace Free Masterclass Webinar will be offered 3 different times (you choose what works best). Register here. It’s free for anyone.

At the very, very end of the masterclass, I’ll answer questions all about the upcoming Eating Peace Process Immersion Five Month Program that runs November 13, 2018-April 19, 2019. This is a program that focuses on transforming the very experience of eating, and your experience of having a body, by questioning our thoughts and turning them around.

At the very end of the Eating Peace webinar, I’ll explain the structure and details of the Eating Peace Process program, answer your questions, and even offer a special gift coupon for those of you eager to join, who attend the webinar live.

Eating Peace Process Program offers weekly lessons, plus live inquiry calls, for contemplation and learning and support the entire five months. The course is upgraded from previous years, but for those of you who already have enrolled in the program in the past, as always, you’re in for “life”–so no additional payment is needed to be in the program again.

Here are the complimentary webinar times below. Sign up to save your seat. I can’t wait to be with you live again.

All my love and appreciation for the learning, steps to freedom, and depth of transformation possible for people as we break the spells and find our true freedom when it comes to eating, food, and having bodies.

  • Tuesday, October 30th 4:00 pm PT
  • Thurs, November 1st 8:00 am PT
  • Sunday, November 11th 10 am PT
Save your seat here.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. If you were eagerly awaiting the webinar this very morning, sorry to disappoint. But come next week! It’ll be great to have you! If you’re already on the webinar list, I’ve got you. Can’t wait.

We eat to live. Is there something dying in you if you’re eating too much food?

I’ve been deep in the autumn retreat I’ve seemed to offer for a few years now doing The Work of Byron Katie. True, honest sharing together questioning stressful stories. I’m so grateful for the fabulous group of people who attended.

Now that it’s over…it’s a wide open road to the Eating Peace Process; a circle of people who will travel together live online through self-inquiry and guidance in mindful and peaceful eating for five months together.

It doesn’t matter if;

  • you’re somewhat discouraged about a tendency to overeat a lot and you’re feeling slightly (or very) chubby OR
  • you’re desperate for some kind of balance between binge-eating and self-starvation OR
  • you’re someone whose mind is filled constantly with labels, chemicals, diet plan(s), measurements and worry about what and how much to eat OR
  • you over-exercise and think you should eat salads all day….

….No matter where you are on the spectrum or experience of eating battles, you don’t feel peace when it comes to eating. There’s a pain in eating, in this whole thing called “eating”.

Instead of joy or ease, you often feel anger, fear, discouragement, and sometimes even self-hatred.

At least, that’s what eating used to be like for me. It wasn’t ever fun. My experience of eating went from craving and ravenous to unpleasant to torturous regularly.

Even as the autumn retreat was underway this past weekend, I sat on my front porch Saturday morning to make a video for you.

It was inspired by a bird’s-eye look at eating itself as an activity we humans seem to be required to do.

This thing called “eating”. What is it for, bottom line?

Life.

Eating provides fuel for being alive physically. Keeping this body running and going.

It’s often pleasurable, too, and built to be that way. It’s lovely to have the organism kept fueled from activity that’s appealing. (That was a smart creation move).

And there’s so much to choose from, it’s rather astonishing. We can eat so many things in this world!

So what’s happening when there becomes urgency for eating? Could it be a bid, or a symbol of feeling urgent about living life, having life, being alive?

When I think about this act of eating itself being a basic need and drive for life, I recognize from my binge-eating days that something in me was driven insane trying to LIVE.

I wanted to EAT, EAT, EAT….but really I wanted to feel alive….and something, honestly, felt dead inside.

Something was locked away, suppressed, dismissed, overlooked, ignored.

I had a hunger that wasn’t getting fed or satisfied, and I thought my only option was to pretend it wasn’t there, and bottle it up inside.

Freedom to eat in a relaxed way was not possible in that state of mind, where some things were “killed” within and not dealt with. At the time when my eating was seriously out of whack, I was so hungry for an honest life, and full of sadness and desperation because parts of me felt ignored, needy and even dead.

One good question you might ask yourself, if you overeat or over-focus on eating: what have I tried to kill within (the opposite of life)? What feels like it’s died inside me? What am I really hungry for, or wanting to give fuel to? What am I so afraid to do or be that I’m not trying it?

In preparation for the upcoming Eating Peace Process Immersion starting November 13th, I’m offering a webinar for anyone and everyone seeking eating peace. Mark your calendar for the time that works for you best. These will be free, and I’ll share information and answer questions only at the end about the immersion program running November through April.

Eating Peace Free Masterclass Webinar, offered 3 different times (you choose what works best). If you want to join, you must register by entering your email here.

  • Tuesday, October 30th 4:00 pm PT
  • Thursday, November 1st 8:00 am PT
  • Sunday, November 11th 10:00 am PT

Because so many people have questions or feel pretty discouraged about new eating programs (especially because you’ve been on 800 diets or food plans in your life) I am ALSO offering a new experiment in online support before the full-on program starts:

An 8 day free course delivered through facebook LIVE. If you’re interested then sign up HERE to receive daily alerts via email for the live course. It will run Nov 4-11th, and you’ll have access to the recordings.

In this facebook live eating peace 8-day course, I’ll share one very important principle each day for freedom from eating battles through the process of self-inquiry, meditation and inner rest.

In a way, all these courses and offerings are simply the creative act of living. It is not ultimately required that we know “more” about how eating works, or the body’s digestive system, or to get a PhD in Nutrition or Psychology.

Maybe the way through is feeling comfort with life here in this moment now. Not being so afraid of the past, or painful ideas about living (which can be very scary).

Who would we be without our fearful stories about living as humans on planet earth? Who would I be without my thoughts?

Wow.

“Both pleasure and pain are projections, and it takes a clear mind to understand that. After inquiry, the experience of pain changes. The joy that was always beneath the surface of pain is primary now, and the pain is underneath it. People who do The Work stop fearing pain. They relax into it. They watch it come and go, and they see that it always comes and goes at the perfect moment.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names For Joy

Eating Peace Process 5 month Immersion starts in November. You can read about it and learn more about the schedule here.
Eating Peace Process Participant: Miraculous Peace
I feel an indescribable peace. I saw this in action this morning. I had the experience of waking up, filled with anxiety and doing the exercise where I listed all the stressful thoughts. What I did next was genuinely say to myself that I was excited to know what the insight was and I really felt the excitement and gratitude…I went to respond to the list of complaints and world-class wisdom came out me. It was amazing! This is new. I can put the stressful thoughts on the side without having to do more than a few minutes exercise and get to a peaceful place. It’s kind of a miracle!
Much love,
Grace

 

Mothers and our eating: is it their fault?

This is a little controversial.

Our mothers.

Don’t they have rather a lot of influence on our lives?

(Ahem).

When it comes to eating, food, and body image, mother soften have passed along a story that’s quite intense about food, cooking, serving others food, eating, body shapes and what they should be.

They learned, just like we did, what was acceptable, good, perfect, or successful.

And they showed us.

Sometimes, they showed us very well indeed. 

It’s quite profound, however, to be the one who questions any painful story you’ve heard, or learned, or thought….when it comes to mother.

Here’s a story that may surprise you about my mother, and what I felt when she said “I’m so proud of you”.
I wasn’t happy.

Eating Peace Free 70 minute Masterclass. Sign up to be notified and join the webinar here. You have a choice of three times:

  • October 24th 9 am PT
  • October 25th 2 pm PT
  • November 11th 10 am PT

Free 8 day Eating Peace Experience Course November 4-11, 2018 on facebook LIVE. Opt in HERE to join and receive all the daly lessons.

Eating Peace Process 5 month Immersion starts in November. Registration will open at the end of October. Read about it here.

Eating Peace Annual Retreat. Learn more here. Jan 9-14, 2019 in northeast Seattle, Washington.

Much love,

Grace