How could something so simple, pleasurable and necessary get so incredibly off-track, so that what to eat, when to eat, how to eat, where to eat…..all gets fraught with tension and stress, and a sense of frustration and disappointment.
It seems there’s always too much food, or not enough food. Or the danger of either one. Never just right. Never free. Worried before eating, rebellious or anxious during eating, ashamed or frustrated after eating. Winding up feeling deprived, or guilty.
And that’s not even taking into consideration our bodies, and the anger about them not being “right” or weighing too much, or appearing ugly.
Solutions to address eating problems have existed for decades. Most of the solutions involve finding the right diet, and a priority on weight loss. The focus is on grabbing the bull by the horns, finding your willpower and discipline, and concentrating your efforts on tackling this “problem” full out. Often there are menus, shopping lists, measurements for portion sizes, and a concentration on measuring, data, weighing and memorizing what you’re allowed or not allowed to eat.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Controlling the intake of food, and examining the contents of the food itself, is a fascinating and amazing study.
But most of us are experts at nutrition and dieting! And yet, still tortured by eating….we know what “should” or “shouldn’t” be eaten, but we find the cravings and emotional experience overwhelming when it comes to sticking with a diet or food plan.
Eating peace, I never found, involved a diet. Diets meant control and adding knowledge and documentation to each day, each meal, and each bite. It meant I could not be trusted to eat freely, so needed structure and rules.
And it seemed like I couldn’t trust myself! I never knew what would happen if I walked into a room with a table covered with food! All hell could break loose!
However, treating myself like someone who needed shackles and a leg bracelet that would beep if I went into a fast food joint was so sad, and something seemed off about it. Was this really the solution? Was I really simply unable to cope in certain situations without eating?
Was it true that if I took one bite of sugar, I’d keep eating from one end of town to the other, inhaling all the sugar in sight? Was it true that certain foods would forever freak me out? Was it really true I was unable to trust I could be in a room with loads of delicious food without obsessing about it, wanting it, and consuming it against my best interest?
Even in my twenties when I was filled with suffering about eating and body, I knew something else was going on, and I truly wanted to understand WHAT? I wanted to experience NOT having the compulsion to eat, or starve, or manage food and my body, or exercise when I didn’t feel like it. I knew my natural state was not to need to force myself to do what felt kind, healthy and balanced. This “disordered”eating thing I knew was somehow learned, or adopted. I was not born that way. I knew it.
The Eating Peace Process is a program of learning, awareness and deep practice in self-inquiry, so that we can access our true balanced relationship with eating. It is your privilege and birthright to be in the world at a natural, normal weight, freely enjoying the taste of food and not fearing it. In the Eating Peace Process, we’re lightening our thoughts and hearts, so our bodies and relationship with food follows.
You can do this, with the tools we use. It doesn’t matter if you’ve felt mild concern with food and eating, and a constant need to lose ten pounds…..
…..or if you’ve felt insane when it comes to food, like I did.
I once saw a video somewhere long ago, where one person I admired in the art scene was in a green room with others for a little pre-show fun and conversation, all being recorded. There was something sweet on a large plate–either cupcakes or special cakes with elaborate designs, apparently expensive desserts shared with this group of entertainers.
One young man saw the plate and proceeded to ask the others in the room who wanted to save one for later, because he needed to do something with the plate so he wouldn’t start consuming it with a vengeance. People looked at him curiously, or made little jokes knowingly. Some took a treat and placed it near them. He asked one more time “does everyone have a cake who wants one?!”
Then, he reached beneath a cabinet in the room, took out some kind of cleaning fluid, and sprayed the entire plate of the remaining beautiful treats with poisonous cleaning fluid, used to clean bathrooms. “Now, I won’t eat them all later!” he exclaimed.
I shook my head, remembering that kind of relationship to food and eating, and the sadness of it all. Treating a beautifully created morsel of food as dangerous, enticing, evil. It was seeing the food as if it held so much power, the power to cause him to hurt himself with the eating of it. A battle with an adversary in the world.
When I saw that video, it had been many years since I had binge-eaten, or obsessed about plates of food like they were the enemy, and something to “fight” or wrestle with. But I still remembered the torture of feeling like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when it came to eating. I understood what that young man was doing when he sprayed the beautiful cakes with cleaning fluid. I also did NOT want to live like that, ever again.
Violence, counting, control and willpower is often the only thing we consider will ultimately work, when we’ve been suffering with food.
But there is another way.
It requires energy and “work”, but it’s an investigative work, not a laboring work or a forceful work, as so often offered in solutions to eating woes.
Instead, our intention is to bring peace to this troubled situation with eating. To understand, relax, and feel clear about what is, and is not, required for happiness. Our desire is to find our own inner “no” to being off-balance with food and eating, not an outside “no”.
Our Eating Peace Process is a path is to regain power, instead of feeling powerless when it comes to food. To work with our fear in a way that brings true safety and self-respect. And to be with emptiness or boredom by discovering satisfaction, fulfillment and joy.
It’s a process. Not an instant fix. You already know a magic fix doesn’t exist, right? You’ve tried many (often in the form of diet and exercise plans), and they’ve lasted only temporarily.
A process is a series of steps and actions taken over time that add, enhance, shed light, offer discovery, and give you clear resources for ending the imbalanced and agonizing experience you’ve had with eating.
The Eating Peace Process is really a way of life. It’s a practice of uncovering hidden agendas, hidden fears, and the places we feel conflicted.
You might be wondering…..how? Or maybe you’re thinking…..it sounds like a lot of analysis and emotional work. Won’t that take too long? If I have to understand my hidden motives, agendas, beliefs and fears…..will it be like therapy? I’ll have to endlessly recount the past, my wounding, my emotional baggage.
Ugh! I’ve done that enough already! Is that what we’re doing?
NO! While we are indeed observing where we feel powerless, empty, afraid and dissatisfied in our lives, we don’t have to get it all figured out and feel elated all the time in order to be free from this concern about eating. That would be equally as difficult an expectation as controlling our diet forever for the rest of our lives.
There’s a place of balance. Emotional bliss or happiness is not required for peaceful eating. Understanding EVERYTHING about our inner world is also not required for peaceful eating. Eating peace can exist even if you feel sad, upset, hurt, or frightened in your life. If there’s a storm, or a fire, or an earthquake….you don’t usually eat immediately. You don’t have to eat for any other personal stormy reason, either.
It becomes easy to simply enjoy food, whatever kinds of food you eat or don’t eat. Acceptance and open hands becomes the approach, not defending and closed fists.
The very first place we start, in the Eating Peace Process, is to meet ourselves and our thoughts with understanding. It’s like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. We start with the first step on a journey along the yellow brick road.
In Module One, you get to start the eating peace process by writing your answers to a very important first exercise that helps you consider and wonder about your eating behavior. Rather than immediately thinking the way you are with food is horrible and unworkable….you’re going to look again, with broader, wider eyes. We track first, to see What Is.
In Eating Peace, we’re investigators. You’ll see where you feel most upset with food in your day to day life. You are the one person who knows you the best. You have amazing and powerful information about YOU within, that no one else has. Now we need to get that information out, and down on paper. If you’re willing to write, consider, contemplate, wonder about reality and you, then you can do this work.
What people find who participate in the Eating Peace Process, is they become fascinated with themselves and what’s going on when it comes to food, in a good way (not the old mean-spirited argumentative, depressing way). When we really “get” who we are and what we’ve been fighting or feeling, the arguments can end.
In the Eating Peace Process, you will find out the connection between your mind, your feelings and your eating behavior. What I discovered, is my thoughts drove me to eat the way I did. My thoughts and beliefs were off-balance, so my eating was off-balance, and so was my body. My feelings were the only thing I was aware of, not my actual thinking. They were a jumbled mess–reactions to my thoughts. All I felt was a fog of confusion.
This is a process to cut through the fog and confusion, and feel clarity.
You can discover awareness and freedom over time, step by step, by taking this wonderful (sometimes difficult) journey into eating peace. The key for me was to be willing to sit with that jumbled fog of confusion, and the difficult feelings, and give them words so they could finally communicate, rather than wishing it would all just go away.
Eating Peace is all about Thinking Peace, Feeling Peace. Thinking peace, when it comes to food, eating and the body, manifests as eating peace. No matter what you’ve experienced, or how many years you’ve been in thinking wars and feelings wars when it comes to eating and your body….you can find peace. I know it.
One of the primary tools we use in Eating Peace, besides concentrated writing exercises to understand your thinking and eating behaviors, is the self-inquiry method called The Work of Byron Katie.
The Work is a way to question what you believe so it no longer runs your life (and your eating). It takes some “work”. You’ll need to be willing to answer some powerful exploratory questions. But I’ll be guiding you every step of the way, and you’ll have a group to share this experience with. Together, we can do it. We can follow the trail of eating peace.
So what does the Eating Peace Process look like? How much time is involved? How does it work on a practical level?
The Eating Peace Process Immersion is a three month LIVE program designed to address, create and foster inner conditions of peace. Your peace. A peace so unshakable, that even if you felt concern about some area of your life…..you wouldn’t consider eating over it.
Here’s what’s included in the Eating Peace Process. It’s thorough, it’s crafted together to address all the stressful ways of thinking that create off-balance eating. It helps us question and change at the fundamental level of our inner perceptions and beliefs that drive weird eating, and it works.
- Four Modules: Mind, Feelings, Body, and Living It. In each module there are 4-5 pre-recorded webinar presentations on important aspects of eating peace. Each presentation, or lesson, is 45-60 minutes. One module, with all it’s 4-5 lessons, will take us about one month to complete. You can view every lesson in each module as many times as needed in our special eating peace process membership site. The final and fourth module is more concise, and gives you your options to keep going on your eating peace journey.
- two live calls per week for the entire 5-month program for Q & A and to experience guided self-inquiry using The Work of Byron Katie on this topic
- a private secret facebook group where everyone can connect, share, post exercises, and find facilitation partners
- live meetings inside the facebook group where I will use video to answer your questions and wrap up our weeks together
- paired partnering with other members of the group to create community, support and sharing with others at a deep level
Here’s exactly how the program works:
You’ll receive instant access to this powerful and comprehensive signature program after you sign up, beginning November 11th. You’ll have access for life including upgrades, changes, additional bonuses.
First, you’ll watch a webinar/presentation that you can access on your own time. It will always be available for you, to watch, pause, download, repeat as needed or desired.
There will be written journaling work and reflection, as a part of this entire process. You’ll have action plans, rather than just theory or new ideas. The process is always a movement into experiencing eating peace and body peace. My personal goal is to help you achieve peace with food for the long-term, and be finished with dieting, harsh food plans, weighing and measuring, and self-criticism….or firmly know you’re on the road to achieving this.
Eating Peace Process Program Blueprint:
Foundation, Introduction and Overview of entire course. You’ll have a map of the program. We’ll pull out the x-ray vision, so you can see what’s really happening more clearly at your core, and what drives your off-balance eating.
Module One: MIND. The MIND module begins our journey. We look at the order of creation, as written in many theoretical and philosophical observations about human behavior: Think – Feel – Act – Have. We start with the mind, the center of “thinking” to see where and how we need to think differently, in order to be happy with eating. In module one our lessons include:
- Assessment. What’s going on? Let’s observe, without judgment, what we do that’s not working. You’ll create an Awareness Map of your eating.
- Making friends with Thinking and Imagination. What happens when you get hungry? What happens when you get full? What’s going on in your mind and thoughts? Dissolving the Sin-Guilt-Punishment Cycle. How can we use imagination for peace instead of war? Find out here.
- The most common beliefs running when it comes to food and eating. Stopping the habits of self-defense and closing. Avoiding pain and chasing pleasure, and how that fits into food and eating disturbances.
- Exploring your immunity to change, or what’s holding you back (often unconsciously). We learn what we’re most afraid of that prevents true change.
Module Two: FEELINGS. In the FEELINGS module we’ll look at three key feelings that fuel eating anxiety: Powerless, Afraid and Empty/Lonely. You’ll get introduced to your Fairy Godmother, Wise Guide or Compassionate Advisor. Grace will give you the medicine (practices) she’s used over time, to create health and healing around food. In module two, the lessons include:
- What is powerlessness and how do we work with it or notice it? We begin to gather our personal medicine bundle. Understanding masculine and feminine energies when it comes to food and eating.
- What is being empty? Focus on Feeling-ness (which is bigger in many ways than Mindfulness), Deficiency and Grasping when it comes to eating patterns. We’ll look at Rejecting or Bolting–two of the biggest reactions around food, and the emptiness of boredom.
- What are we afraid of? How do we work with the feeling of fear, in any form whatsoever (very small worry to full-blown terror)? How can our Inner Mentor or Fairy Godmother help with this? Accessing kindness, self-care and pleasure to support our freedom with food and eating. Exposing the fears bring awareness, and we can make a plan for how to handle them, without willpower, without deprivation.
Module Three: BODY. We look in the Body Module at physical sensation, fullness and hunger, weight and judgment, and ACTION. In module three, our lessons include:
- Leaving Weight-Hate, Mirror Work in depth. You will have an exercise to work with your reflection in the mirror, and really “see” what the truth is for you.
- Observing, Looking at Data, moving from where you are to where you want to be, with ease.
- Feeling hunger and fullness, experiencing your diet your way, beliefs about nutrition and body, really committing to your own eating peace process food plan, whatever it looks like (and it must include the hunger-fullness scale). You’ll learn the most important part of the eating peace process awareness of food and eating: feeling your hunger and fullness.
- Our food plan/way of eating: Becoming very clear about the Eating Peace experience with food and eating so you feel it in your body.
- Action: Watching our actions, movements, direction and learning what motivated or inspired it…watching things change – Revisiting our immunity to change exercise
- Saying No and how trouble with saying NO to people, requests, invitations, choices fits into food and eating troubles.
Module Four: TRANSFORMATION. Your Eating Peace Practice….Living It. Unconditional Love and Transformation. We investigate what “Doing Nothing” means and how to use this rested approach further in food and eating. Simplicity, Patience, Compassion—the three things we need to work with anything, according to the Tao Te Ching. Source and Center–how to stay in the middle which is our practice. Observation as a spiritual path. You will create your own map again, your own guidance, for where to go from here, and continue your transformation into permanent eating peace. Module Four has only one key lesson, and it includes:
- Self-Compassion: daily practice – your own Eating Peace map to use.
- Silence and the Wisdom of Doing Nothing. Can we go limp when having a worry, a craving, a concern? What can we trust? How do we keep this simple? Journaling, support team, The Work as a way of life.
- Your Vision of Peace. Can we stay with the mystery of this work, and be patient with ourselves? Yes, it is possible. You’ll know what to do if you get off track, and how to treat an off-balance moment with welcome.
- Expanding your life: See where to explore that has nothing to do with food or eating that satisfies you (based on Artists’ Way)
- Living Your Turnarounds: Clearly working with the new images, words, feelings you find as you’ve questioned your thinking.
Frequently asked questions:
How much time will this take? You will need to find 1-2 hours per week of time to listen, watch and do the exercises in each lesson on your own. In addition to this time, there are two live 90 minute telecalls each week which are optional but highly recommended. You can listen to these as recordings if the timing doesn’t work for you, but you are encouraged to also schedule at least 90 minutes of inquiry each and every week with the group–live or listening in later on your own. I recommend scheduling your lesson time each week–you can do it on a weekend, weeknight, week day….any time that works for you. All the lessons are recorded and ready for you.
When will I stop eating or change the way I eat?
When you begin the program, you won’t instantly be given a diet, or a way of eating. We WILL address food plans and eating along the way. But the first thing we need to do is understand what’s going on when we begin to eat, or binge, to identify the thoughts in the mind we’re believing, and to question them.
One giant lie I used to tell myself is “I have to eat”. I had this thought when not hungry, when upset, when overwhelmed, when I saw something delicious looking, when I felt lonely. We begin to look at the top thoughts, like this one, inside Module One, and to question them and turn them around, using The Work of Byron Katie. Who would we be without our stories or lies about eating? I know now “I do NOT have to eat.” You can discover you don’t have to either. I am here in the program to support you questioning this kind of powerful but very stressful lie about eating food.
Can I participate from Europe or in another time zone? When are the live calls?
You can participate from anywhere. The sessions are accessible for free through the internet. Exact dates of live inquiry sessions–all times are Pacific Time:
- Tuesdays 4:00-5:30 PT: November 14, 21, 28, December 5, 12, 19, 26, January 2, 9, 16 (2018)
- Thursdays 8:00-9:30 am PT: Nov 16, 23, 30, December 7, 14, 21, 28, January 4, 11, 18 8:00-9:30 am PT
- Continued support for three more months: February 6 – April 26 there will be Tuesday 4 pm calls and Thursday 8 am calls for everyone–these 3 months may be open to newcomers interested in Eating Peace and Inquiry. Mark your calendars!
- Facebook Live: Private secret facebook group will have live Friday calls at varying times to accommodate different peoples’ schedules
What if I have a food plan I prefer to follow?
This work is about your own comfort, awareness and care for yourself. If you have a plan that works best for you, please bring it to your work in eating peace. Some people feel more comfortable with a structured food plan–if this is you, wonderful. There is no reason to drop this plan by participating in Eating Peace. I even encourage you to have a plan if you feel safer and clearer with one.
Refund or cancellation policy:
Please cancel within one week if you are unable to participate for any reason (less $100 administrative fee). This program is very high touch and you are signing up for live groups, course content, partner work with others, and regular access to Grace through email and our private forum. Everyone has access for life, so that if you miss any of the material, you will have it recorded for watching at any time. For the November 2017 program you must write to Grace by 8:00 pm Pacific Time on Sunday, November 19th to withdraw.
Sign up for the Eating Peace Process and remain a member for life. You can re-join any year, any time, for no additional fee. It’s lifetime access:
- $997 pay in full click HERE.
- $97 to start now, and receive a monthly invoice for 12 months in total ($97 every month), click HERE.
Eating Peace Retreat in person in Seattle is January 11-15, 2018 and offered separately from online Eating Peace program–however, those who enroll in both receive $200 off the full fee for the retreat). Retreat begins Thursday night, ends Monday at 11 am. You will see the special discount option to add this retreat when you sign up for Eating Peace Process.
To register for Eating Peace Process Immersion, a comprehensive deep immersion in online thinking, feeling and eating freedom and understanding, click your choice of links below to enroll.
When you join, it includes lifetime access.
For those who need a payment plan, there is a 12-payment alternative with first payment at the beginning (prior or on 11/14 when registration closes) and then monthly through 10/2018.
Click here to register for Eating Peace Process and pay in full: Pay in Full
Click here to register for Eating Peace Process and pay monthly for 12 months $97 per month: First payment for Eating Peace. You’ll be invoiced monthly for 11 additional payments.
Praise for Eating Peace Online:
I like this format a lot, the presentation, which I like to watch and hear via the recording so I can pause it. And then the interactive work on live calls. Also, this particular subject, with its emphasis on feelings, seems to be particularly “opening” for me. With gratitude!
Thank you Grace! The format was great. I liked seeing the slides and I enjoyed typing responses more than speaking them out loud. I also enjoyed hearing the beautiful ways that people wrote their own responses. I also like how you summed up the techniques we already have been given at the end… it makes me feel more organized and less confused.
In this program, I never lost interest, there was never anything that did not feel like it didn’t apply to me in some way. Some things really stuck for me, like the Stop/Go dialogue and the emphasis on using imagination – who would I be? I love one weekly gathering where we don’t talk. I SO appreciate this topic – this is so huge for me and I’m so glad you gave this class. I would take the entire 12 weeks again!
Grace is like the fairy godmother who is objectively and lovingly looking at what’s going on in behavior, thoughts and feelings. The content of the class felt comprehensive and well thought out. I would certainly recommend the course. Thank you.
Thank you for the wonderful writing and videos. I had a big breakthrough that came after watching a few of your videos again. I’ve realized that what’s been happening for me since the EPP course ended is that my inner mentor has been coming forward more and is now ready to be fully in charge….It’s been powerful for me to see that this is ME and not an external character….It’s so clear now. I feel an indescribable peace.
Grace, you have a REMARKABLE ability to embrace anything that comes into our Work, and weave it in. I love your light-hearted but serious style, and that you can tell your own stories. Looking back at what I wanted to get out of the program, I can say that I got a lot more than I imagined. Thanks, so much.