The Work for Dingalings Course by Grace “Ding Dong” Bell
WELCOME Inquirer. I love you’re here.
I found The Work was an answer to any pain, stress, troubled mind, anxiety, sadness, grief, fear, addiction, agony, negativity and depression.
Nothing else truly affected change like doing The Work. So, welcome. Please write grace@workwithgrace.com if you have any questions, any time.
- DAY ONE: Find Your Situation and Fill Out the JYN.
WELCOME TO DAY ONE of your 7-day course in learning The Work.
Watch the webinar to fill out your JYN HERE. (You’ll see this link to the JYN webinar again at the end of this DAY ONE section).
What you’ll be doing today is identifying a situation where one person, when you think of them, bothered or troubled you (not yourself, please).
Follow along to land on a situation to explore, and fill out your Judge Your Neighbor worksheet step by step. The link is right at the bottom of this email.
The first time I ever tried doing The Work was in the middle of reading my new copy of Loving What Is by Byron Katie in 2004.
Something seemed different; more hands-on, less about philosophy or psychology, more practical and simple. I was a fairly new mental health counselor, having received my master’s degree in Applied Behavioral Science from Bastyr University a few years before. I saw clients one night a week.
I knew a lot about stress. Supposedly.
The very first step, I read, was I needed to find a situation or relationship I felt uncomfortable about. Somewhere I felt betrayed. Someone I couldn’t forgive. Someone who frightened me, confused me, angered me, or saddened me.
I sat on my couch, and honestly….you’re hardly going to believe this…I couldn’t think of anyone.
I had done a LOT of inner personal analysis, therapy and healing arts work. I had studied it academically. I had been in multitudes of programs. I had loads of information and read clinical studies. No one really bugged me anymore. I don’t have a problem with people or my past! I’m so done with all that!
The worksheet in the book that I was invited to fill out said at the top: Judge Your Neighbor.
As I sat on my couch in my living room, knowing I had exactly 30 minutes before my kindergartner and 4th grader would be coming home from school. It occurred to me suddenly, “Hmmm. My neighbor, come to think of it, IS pretty annoying!”
I had a toe-hold of an idea that there was at least ONE human being I could admit had some irritating qualities. My actual neighbor! She came by too often. She called too much. She borrowed things too frequently. I wished she wouldn’t stop by, ever again.
Bam. I filled in the worksheet.
I look back on that time and Thank God, Universe, Reality I wrote that one superficial worksheet and didn’t dismiss the whole thing.
It just goes to show you….you don’t have to identify something bitter, horrifying, traumatic, desperate or completely heart-breaking to experience an exciting self-inquiry examination.
It can be something you don’t even think you care about that much.
Because that little entry to The Work led me to the next breadcrumb of trying the four questions, to the next, to the next.
No wrong way to do it. All unfolding on the perfect timing, just right for you.
At least, when I look back at it all, it’s been just right for me.
“What I see about The Work is that it allows you to go inside and find your own happiness, to experience what already exists within you, unchanging, immovable, ever-present, ever-waiting. No teacher is necessary. You are the teacher you’ve been waiting for. You are the one who can end your own suffering.” ~ Byron Katie in Loving What Is
Who would we be if we let it go just the way it’s gone. No speedier recovery required. No faster realization. No agenda.
Watch the webinar to fill out your JYN HERE. Find your situation, fill out the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet. See you there!
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- DAY TWO: Questions 1, 2 and 3
WELCOME TO DAY TWO of The Work for Dingalings (LOL).
I have found that keeping it simple, and as easy as possible to follow, has been the best thing in the world.
Being clever, knowledgeable, smart, quick or “advanced” mentally is not required.
You’ve identified a situation and filled out a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet.
Way to go!
Sometimes, this one step is a huge hurdle, as it feels difficult to concentrate or remember a disturbance in your life. I’ve noticed consistently, the more I look at what I’ve feared or been troubled by, the more it dissolves.
Today, we’ll begin to inquire into this situation with the next step of The Work.First, find a clear, short, simple concept that comes from what you’ve written in prompt #1 of the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet: I am upset because…..You’ll identify the concept that comes AFTER the word “because” and place it into the top line of the One Belief At A Time worksheet (this is the worksheet you printed multiple copies of).
While you may have heard that there are four questions used in The Work, we’re going to start with only Questions 1, 2, and 3 for today.
Questions 1 and 2:
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
Then we move into Question 3 which is much more thorough and detailed and takes some time:
- How do you react, what happens, when you think this thought?
You’ll be using your own stressful thought written on the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet.
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- DAY THREE: Question Four
How much time did you spend on answering Question Three on your One Belief At A Time worksheet? Did you find the sub-questions helpful and interesting?
Whether you spent only a short time, or a long while writing your answers, both are worthwhile for inquiry.
Some people are aware immediately of their reactions and responses to this belief, some people may take longer allowing awareness to come.
The most important thing is being able to sit with this question, even for a minute.
And now….we get to move on to Question Four:
Who would you be without this thought?
There’s room for writing out your answer to this question on the backside of the One Belief worksheet.
But I like doing more than just writing my answers.
Watch today to join in contemplating this wonderful and exciting Question Four in The Work.
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- DAY FOUR: Studying the TURNAROUNDS.
The purpose for this exercise is to come at your original story or belief from all directions, not a one-sided perspective.
For me, the turnarounds help open up the mind to greater possibilities and alternative thinking. It helps me not see it ONLY from MY viewpoint.
To see things from other perspectives can be very liberating.
Sometimes, these turnarounds can be tricky, confusing, and easy to miss….but don’t worry. Just do the best you can, and be sure to write to me if you aren’t sure you’re doing it “right”.
The turnarounds don’t have to be found in any particular order.
TurnAround #1: The TurnAround to The SELF.
Where you have written someone else’s name or pronoun, put yourself there instead. Instead of “he” or “she” or “they”, put “I”. So for example, “she cut me off” becomes “I cut myself off”. “He ruined my life” becomes “I ruined my life”. “She doesn’t care about me” becomes “I don’t care about myself.”
TurnAround #2: The TurnAround to The OTHER.
Trade places in the concept you’re examining with the other person. For example, “she cut me off” becomes “I cut her off.” Whatever I perceive that person did to me, I turn it around to me doing it to them. “He betrayed me” becomes “I betrayed him”. “She hurt me” becomes “I hurt her.”
TurnAround #3: The TurnAround to the OPPOSITE.
Simply write the concept you’re investigating in the 180 degree opposite. “She cut me off” becomes “she did NOT cut me off”. I might even say “she connected with me” and see if it fits. “He stole from me” becomes “he did NOT steal from me”. “She criticized me” becomes “she did NOT criticize me” or even “she accepted me”.
Watch here to learn about finding turnarounds for your concept.
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- DAY FIVE: MOVING DOWN THE JYN (apparently having jazz hands is a good idea when questioning your thoughts–try it before you begin to write).
WELCOME TO DAY FIVE of your 7-day course in learning The Work.
You’re still here, and this means you are deeply interested in examining and understanding your belief-system, the way you view the world….
….and especially when it hurts or holds you back, or makes you miserable.
Doing The Work never means you’re supposed to pretend not to think something, or fake that something doesn’t bother you when it does.
It’s really the opposite of this.
Today, we get the opportunity to continue on the same Judge Your Neighbor worksheet you wrote on Day One.
Now, you get to re-read what you wrote in Section Two on the JYN. Your answer to the question: How do you want them to change, in that situation?
What belief did you write that pops out and really seems stressful or true when you read it and remember vividly what it was like in that situation you’re working on?
Put that belief at the top of the next One Belief At A Time worksheet you printed out, and begin to answer the four questions.
See if you can go through all four questions AND find your turnarounds. You don’t have to do it all at once, although taking 20-30 minutes can be relaxing and give you the time your inner investigator needs to be with the next thought you’re taking through the process.
Today, I’ve got a funny issue I wanted to share with you that seems to arise in some people once they start doing The Work (it did for me).
You could call it a sort of resistance….but I really think of it as fear rearing its head and trying to protect you from continuing with all this enlightening practice.
Listen here as I share about one thing I really noticed that came up in me, when it came to continuing on with The Work:
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- DAY SIX: Keep Going Through JYN #3 and #4, then here’s how you’ll turn around your list in #5.
WELCOME TO DAY SIX of your 7-day course in learning The Work.
Continuing to investigate the concepts you’ve written on your Judge Your Neighbor worksheet can begin to crack open a story you have had about the situation you chose for a very long time….sometimes since childhood.
To be thorough, you will need to take a concept from both #3 and #4 (‘shoulds’ and ‘needs’) through the four questions and finding your turnarounds.
This may require spending thirty minutes or more in quiet contemplation, writing your answers. You can do this in one, two or three sittings today. Be easy with it.
Then, let’s pause at question five from the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet.
It’s the list you wrote describing that person you’re looking at, that thing you really disliked or felt so stressed about.
You might have many words on your worksheet, or only a few. Whatever you wrote is perfect.
Here’s how you’ll turnaround your list in #5.
You’re almost done with a whole Judge Your Neighbor worksheet, taking every idea or stressful concept you wrote down through the four questions and turnarounds.
You are awesome to have come this far.
See you tomorrow for the big finale.
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- DAY SEVEN: WORKING WITH #6 ON THE JYN (The astonishing turnarounds to #6)
WELCOME TO DAY SEVEN of your 7-day course in doing The Work.
This last step is a stunner. At least it was for me.
And I mean this in the very best way possible.
You’ve made it through a worksheet. This is a powerful journey, and not one that everyone bothers with, or is even interested in taking.
It’s not easy to question your own beliefs, even if they’ve seemed stressful and ridiculous, and even if you’re aware that your own thinking has caused you suffering.
We’d sometimes rather take a pill (or a myriad of other options including my favorite–eating) rather than turn to look at what we’re believing.
I never believed that inquiry would be all that was necessary. I believed I was missing something, and couldn’t find it.
Not true.
The last step with The Work is called the TurnAround to Number Six.
This is referring to Number Six on the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet, where you answered the question: What is it that you don’t ever want to experience again, in this situation?
Take a look at what you wrote there. “I don’t ever want…..”
Watch here for how we work with this final step, and gather the insights available to us through our own wisdom.
DAY EIGHT (summary and thank you):
Thank you ever so much for joining me in doing The Work from start to finish.
I really want to hear from you about your experience in this course. What was it like for you to do The Work? What topic did you choose? Do you have one insight you found that you’d like to share? Did the technology work OK for you? (Send an email to grace@workwithgrace.com and let me know)).
You may have thought of yourself as an absolute beginner in your life, or even a ding-dong like me….but you’re really the most genius student, teacher, guru, and wise advisor all wrapped up together into one very fascinating human being.
I know that all you need, you’ve got. For any freedom you may still be seeking, and any understanding you want.
I love how we are our own favorite person, really.
And when we recognize this, we find ourselves in love with the world, too.
What could be better than this?
The Work is a peace practice, a love practice. The questions are non-judgmental guidance, when we answer them.
I hope you’ll continue reading Grace Notes (1-3 times per week) and share the adventure, as long as it’s right for you.
If you’d like to learn more, there’s plenty of opportunity both for free (no financial fee) or paid programs.
FREE: Join First Friday, an open session for anyone who wants to gather online to do The Work on the first Friday of every month.
FREE: Watch the recorded in-depth 90 minute webinar Ten Barriers To Getting The Work right here.
FREE: Find me or other Certified Facilitators on the Help Line for The Work. Dial in and bring your Judge Your Neighbor worksheet. You’ll receive completely free facilitation live with a trained facilitator.
PROGRAMS: Visit the programs page and menu on both workwithgrace.com and eatingpeaceprocess.com to find out about all programs or solo sessions.
I teach telecourses on special topics like relationships, parenting, money, sexuality, pain-illness-and-death, compulsive eating. Come to a retreat. Join the year-long immersion Year of Inquiry to gather with seriously awesome people all interested in questioning their thoughts (a loving and brilliant community). Join the Eating Peace Process to apply The Work to compulsive eating troubles of any kind (equally brilliant group).
There are many ways to get involved in a regular supported practice of The Work, and people all over the world doing it. I hope we cross paths one day. There’s nothing I love better than questioning stressful thinking, and watching a new way of life unfold.
Thank you for joining me on this spectacular adventure in exploring the mysteries of the mind and reality and the brilliance of “thinking” in all its variety.
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If you want to join Eating Peace mailing list, be sure to visit eatingpeaceprocess.com and make sure to sign up. I send out videos every week on youtube related to ending compulsion and addiction by questioning our thinking. Yes, you can do this.
Much love,
Grace
P.S. Remember to email with any and all feedback you’d like to share. We take your thoughts seriously and make improvements as soon as we’re able.