It’s funny the way we’ll say all the time “I did it again”.
Ugh. I repeated the pattern of eating too much, eating off-balance, binge-eating, eating the foods that make me feel sick later on.
I overate at the company dinner. I stuffed myself all night at home alone and went to bed full. I ordered the same thing as my friends when we went out. I ignored my fullness when my aunt offered me seconds.
What if we studied that moment, instead of being AGAINST it?
What if instead of shame, horror, disappointment, and calling yourself names….you were kind?
Here’s how: You can ask yourself what’s going on, that would create such havoc in your eating?
“What’s bothering you, sweetheart?” you could said to yourself.
If it feels like you can’t possibly drum up such a compassionate, loving voice towards yourself, don’t worry. I never could much either when I had my compulsive tendencies with food and eating and self-criticism.
But the following exercise may offer something that heads at least in the same direction of curiosity about what’s off, when our eating is off.
Imagine you in that situation where you wind up eating every time.
(It’s OK if it’s the moment you wake up, because you think about food all day long).
Now ponder this question: What if you didn’t have food available as a thing you liked? What if food wasn’t interesting? What if food or eating wasn’t a possibility?
Don’t just say “that would be fantastic”.
This is about wondering what’s going on deep within that tends to move towards eating in a way that ultimately doesn’t really work, because you don’t know what else to do.
There’s something within that moves to food as a solution. What’s the problem? What needs to be solved?
Who would you be without eating as an action, choice, pattern, experience?
When I first really sat with this question, it frightened me. I thought if I didn’t have food and eating as a THING….I might go crazy with all the conflict I felt inside.
But who would I be without my Go To eating reaction?
A powerful question.
What’s this invitation, at a much deeper level, that eating off-balance is bringing you to see?
You can find your answers. I know you can.
Much love, Grace