Fear is such a strong emotion.
Maybe one of the #1 key feelings to address when it comes to addiction, compulsion, reactions to life.
Fear leads to anger. Fear leads to resentment. Fear leads to withdrawing. Fear leads to not trying in any way to get your needs met that might involve getting hurt. Fear leads to guessing.
Fear leads to eating.
It has many forms: terror, nervousness, anxiety, worry, rumination, planning, irritation, controlling, forcing, battling, fighting, aggression, passivity, pushing, criticism, fury, smallness, shyness, hiding….eating.
There’s signage that’s used in so many construction sites where people are operating big bulky dangerous equipment: Safety First.
In this case of compulsive behavior, the big bulky dangerous equipment is our thinking.
A wisdom can come from this little phrase “safety first”, because if you don’t feel safe (enough) you won’t be able to do inquiry or deal with the world without feeling a sense of threat.
Can we look at what has been threatening, and face it head on with The Work of Byron Katie? To do this, a few things help.
These may be wonderful to add, so your mind and heart can get a sense of “Safety First” when reviewing and resolving past troubling experiences and beliefs:
*remember that you’ll feel upset or uncomfortable right now, as you remember this uncomfortable situation from the past–it’s OK. The event isn’t happening except in your mind. Good to remember.
*using The Work, you can be totally honest first about your stressful, judgmental thinking, and then answer the four questions
*get someone to sit with you while you contemplate and question your trauma
*be compassionate with yourself for reaching for power, comfort and safety with food–it was a good choice, for the time being (you didn’t know any better, so you made the best choice you could)
*there’s something safer than replaying that old fearful experience within at a gut level–facing it, speaking it, sharing it, inquiring.
It’s especially worth facing fear when it means you won’t be eating so compulsively anymore.
You might even notice, when you inquire, do The Work and find your own wisdom….you don’t need the soothing food gives you.
You’re safe now, so no need to eat.
The Work will hold you, or anyone, in peace.
“Strange things can happen when the mind understands and rest silently in itself, but these are no more miraculous than the simple act of breathing or walking or biting into an apple. When the past is over (and it always is), I forget it until someone asks me about it, because there’s nothing to remember. It’s done, it’s gone without a trace, as if it had never existed. What is happening right now? That’s where my focus is.” ~ Byron Katie
Last call for this year’s annual Eating Peace Retreat: a deep and beautiful immersion into questioning stressful thought, including fear, and sharing 5 nights 6 days together in Seattle. To read more, visit here.
Much love,Grace