So many of us see ourselves in a mirror, glass, or window reflection and we immediately think “ugly!”
It’s like there’s an exceptionally mean, critical, even bitter voice or perspective within that’s so speedy quick….we don’t even consider questioning it.
It’s simply filled with rejection, immediately.
That voice believes it’s going to motivate you to change RIGHT NOW, with punishment and control.
The mind begins to solve the “problem” it sees of ugliness, and use the words “I have to….”
I have to lose weight, I have to eat differently, I have to go on a diet, I have to push my body, I have to look good, I have to be thin, I have to succeed (etc, etc).
But who would you be without the story, or without believing the thought “I have to….” do anything?
You may WANT to, you may choose to, it may be fun, joyful and an experience full of self-care and kindness, but NOT a “have to”.
It would be patient and kind to notice what you are drawn to and what feels right, here in this moment now, with the image of your body.
A turnaround to this “have to” thought is the statement “I do NOT have to”.
Could this be just as true, or truer, to have a happy life?
If you had a loving, powerful, supportive friend wouldn’t you rather sit with them instead of the nasty, vicious, mean friend who’s sure about what “perfect” should look like (and it’s not you)?
And of course, another important turnaround in The Work for this concept of having to is “my thinking has to”.
I have to lose this weighed thinking, I have to think differently, I have to go on a thinking diet, I have to push my thinking, I have to think good, I have to have thinner thinking, I have to succeed in not believing my thinking.
I notice when I question my thinking of UGLY or REJECT or NO….
….and feel this body from the inside out instead of holding judgment from the outside in….
….I experience gratitude. I feel the nature of this present moment now as BEAUTIFUL, ACCEPTABLE, and YES.
How do you think it’s more likely to take care of yourself, or actually make changes that support yourself physically: with mean have-to dictator thinking, or joyful I-don’t-know open thinking?