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Vlog

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I have to do it right, not wrong…..I HAVE TO worry about this (eating, weight, conditions).

My right thumb was hurt (you get to see in this video–just the bandaids, don’t worry).
I just can barely type.
But I made you a video on a powerful topic, called WORRYING.
The mind will say “you need to worry about this!” (food, eating, meals, plans, body image, weight, size, shape, feelings, conditions….and much much more).
You might think “Well, duh. Of course I have to worry. Are you kidding me?”
Is that actually true though?
Are you sure you need to worry?
What if you did NOT believe this thought?
Wow.

Much love,

Grace

 

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I can’t stop this craving–and I MUST!!!

One common question I get is “how on earth do I stop these terrible cravings?”

It does seem like our brains, our promises, our commitments go right out the window when cravings take over.

Then, what’s the common approach?

Going to war with the cravings. Deciding to get more willpower. Renewing efforts to shut this down, control ourselves, stop.

Do this instead. You may be startling surprised.

Much love,
Grace
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Uh Oh. I had an old glitch in my thinking on the final Eating Peace Webinar: too-much-not-enough-never-just-right

Love the folks who attended the webinars, wow. Thank you for all your emails.

Here is the replay of the very last day, which I think went the very best: no tech troubles, no sudden noises to edit out, no goofy mistakes.

EatingPeace Webinar LIVE 1 24 2020
Eating Peace Webinar: Five Spells to Break, or How We’re Thinking About Food & Body, To Dissolve Our Eating Battles

Although those tech mistakes can be quite entertaining and funny.

I even remembered to put up my front door sign for when clients come over: “Please do NOT knock, IN SESSION”. 

At the end, I did have a tiny glitch however.

It was a “thinking” glitch.

Inside my own head.

A momentary thought based on a comment in the chat: “I just wish the program wasn’t so expensive.”

Sigh.

I’ve gone all over the place from wanting to offer entirely free grant-run programs with no financial barrier to anyone, to wanting to make a decent income for myself and feel compensated for all the time and training undertaken.

It appears to be ever in-between the two, and always finding its own balance.

Perhaps just like the inner world of eating when it’s at peace: not too little, not too much. 

Just right.

I know the fee seems expensive to some, based on the full range of what it available online in the world, from completely free to many thousands of dollars.

I realized in the moment of reading that comment about the fee, I had the opportunity to do The Work on the beliefs “I’ve disappointed people” or “they think it’s too expensive and that means IT IS” or “they wish it was less expensive and that means…..they don’t understand the work and effort put into this” or finally “it means I’m doing something wrong”.

Oh my.

I noticed, I had no idea if any of those are true.

But the distant feeling of stress. Ugh.

I did immense research on the time, expense and effort to build the program and determine the fee (and got help doing this, too).

Suddenly, to connect with this inquiry and share the thinking, I jumped on video and did The Work right on the spot.

I hope you find the familiar voice of what I call Too Much Not Enough Never Just Right helpful to question.

That’s a story or spell I always believed about food. It never seemed it was just right. Ever.

And how about landing on the pricing for this immersion program? Also not just right for some people.

Eating, Money, This Moment, Life: Too Much or Not Enough, Never Just Right
Eating, Money, This Moment, Life: Too Much or Not Enough, Never Just Right

No one needs any program, ultimately. You have a program already, and it’s called Your Life.

This EPE program is created in service to find peace and rest, in our inner world when it comes to food, eating, hunger, fullness, compulsion, weight, fat, thin, lack of connection.

It also is a pay-it-forward to all the people who helped me along the way: therapists, meditation teachers, experts, nutritionists, authors, guides.

My intentions are very sincere and a huge amount of effort and research and constant improvement has gone on to make this program….and it won’t be right for everyone, that’s for sure.

People in the past who have signed up have helped make it better and better.

It’s a grand learning experiment.

If it is sincerely and honestly way too much for you to afford and yet you’d love to participate, then you can apply for a scholarship by filling in detail at the link provided below, letting us know what would work for you–I’ll read it with the assistance of a mentor I trust and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible before Sunday, January 26th at midnight when the Eating Peace Experience program closes.

Click HERE for the scholarship application. Please share as much as possible about your current circumstances.

And to all of you eating peace readers, my sincere thanks in this journey of the past few weeks gearing up to Eating Peace Experience.

And now return you to your regularly scheduled programming (LOL): Eating Peace encouragement around once a week. If you wish to unsubscribe, click on the very tiny small letters at the bottom of any email where it says Update Preferences/Unsubscribe.

Much love,

Grace

 
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Question this thinking, change your eating….permanently

Wow, the very last Eating Peace LIVE Webinar this season of the new 2020 is today, Friday January 24th at noon Pacific Time. 
It’s just about completely full, no more room. If you’re interested in attending live, you can see if there’s a space still left right here.
(If you registered and can’t attend, please cancel so there’s a space for someone else).
Yesterday after last night’s webinar I received a beautiful note thanking me so so much for this work in eating peace.
This work is so important.
Lives get ruined because of LACK of eating peace and the repetitive trying to do it the same way over and over again: diet, exercise, control, force.
The only way I found inner peace with food and eating was the way I teach it: identifying and questioning thought patterns that fuel crazy eating.
Sound too simple?
It’s not.
The stress of eating wildly looks and sounds awful. We feel horrendous, nervous, like food and eating is dangerous and an area for being really really careful.
We think food makes us fat, wrong, ugly, greedy. We hate ourselves and our bodies.
We feel hopelessly ashamed, and still we sneak food.
If this has been YOU, then I hope you’ll join me in the Eating Peace Experience where our mission is ending eating battles for good.
Everyone who joins Eating Peace online is in for life. You join, and if you need to return to a future round of looking at compulsion even if it’s not necessarily food….you never pay again.
I am committed to growing, learning and transforming with you, one step and one day at a time.
The most inspiring things have occurred from offering this advanced work in transforming beliefs around food, eating, bodies, thin, fat, hunger, fullness, emotions, boredom, pleasure, dependency, fear, trauma, rejection and acceptance.
Eating troubles, quite honestly, wound up shaping my life into one of freedom, service, and a spiritual path I never imagined possible.
We’re finding a new freedom from eating torture and the need to control, and discovering calm and rest within when it comes to food.
Really, when it comes to our whole lives.
It doesn’t mean all emotions are all-peace all the time 24/7.
No.
I have doubt, worry, anxiety, sadness, grief, anger, irritation.
It’s called being human.
But these feelings have nothing to do with eating. Eating doesn’t occur to me as a way to resolve feelings, or calm myself down. It just doesn’t even come up. Eating doesn’t have to do with staying or getting thin. Eating doesn’t have to do with yet another way I can hate myself.
Eating off balance and feeling strong feelings including shame have been un-velcroed from each other.
The cravings, urges and compulsions have dissolved.
These past six days I worked with the group who came to Eating Peace Retreat to discover the way to end disordered eating, disordered thinking.
Light bulbs went off.
The shifts as we stepped through our days as we ate, thought, questioned, walked and even danced together were gorgeous to behold.
And now, a new group online gets to gather, share, and continue the healing movement of Eating Peace-Thinking Peace in our daily lives.
No matter who you are, no matter how crazy you’ve been with eating and food….I know you have the capacity to find peace with eating and your body.
It all starts with identifying the tricky, debilitating, difficult thoughts that drive off-balance eating.
Once we see, we can question them: “is that actually true?”
We can find out for ourselves, and stop doubting and freaking out.
I can’t wait to see you in Eating Peace Experience.
We begin on Monday! WOW! 
We’re looking at a paradigm shift from eating battles to eating peace.
What could be better than that, after all this suffering and agony?
Sign up for the full Eating Peace Experience here and let’s sail into this leap year 2020 together, and bring peace to broken hearts about our bodies, weight and ways of eating.
Join me HERE. Everyone who joins gets membership for life.

Much love,

Grace

 

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Happiness doesn’t depend on what happens, my body shape or size, or the food

Being happy is not dependent on the shape and weight of your body, or the food in your kitchen or in your hand. Happiness requires turning your attention to happiness, questioning your thinking, noticing.
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Woohoo! We successfully went live and broadcast without a hitch on Monday’s Eating Peace Webinar with no tech troubles.
(Well, the slides could have been bigger for at least one person. Next time, I’ll be able to expand them to full size).
This is the way of it. Continued learning. Keep getting feedback, keep refining. A wonderful adventure.
And now, I have a request that would mean so much: If you’ve watched the webinar live or the recording so far could you answer 10 questions (completely anonymous) right HERE? (It should take about 4 minutes).
This helps things keep getting better and better; it can’t happen without you.
I want to create a powerful webinar that will support people ending their suffering around eating like I experienced, even if they never buy or attend anything with me.
I mean it.
I was so lost in my disordered-thinking, off-balance feeling and eating experience….I’m not sure if the internet had existed I would have been able to find peace online to be honest. Not at the beginning of my journey.
But later, absolutely. I watch and listen to so much that’s available, it’s amazing.
And speaking of ongoing, regular, steady improvement and refinement….
….I remember a time when I never felt like that was happening when it came to eating.
Ugh.
If you feel like me, my attempts to find calm and satisfaction and to quit being so obsessive with food was like doing a replay of stepping on a rake, and rake hitting face, over and over and over again.
Think of every rake as a new diet plan.
Sigh.
The Simpsons - Sideshow Bob Stepping On Rakes Compilation
The Simpsons – Sideshow Bob Stepping On Rakes Compilation
Now, I know so much better how to connect with people. I know how to connect with my own inner questions, with my honest feelings, with my own needs. I have so much less judgment of myself and of others.
What a relief.

Life with food, eating and having a body–no matter how imperfect–has become calm. Not dreadful and dramatic.

You can have this too. It’s all about inquiring and noticing the hellish stories you believe about eating or yourself, or the world….are really not true for you.
Four more masterclass webinars still to come in the weeks ahead Eating Peace–Five Spells to Break to End Your Eating Battles:
  • Weds, January 15th at 9am PT/ Noon ET (soon!)
  • Tuesday, January 21st 10am PT/ 7pm Europe
  • Thursday, January 23rd 5pm PT/ 10am Japan
  • Friday, January 24th Noon PT/3pm ET (last one)
To register, choose your date, and receive the link to attend please click here. Note: a popup will appear in order for you to enter your email–be sure to have your popup blocker off.
Much love,
Grace
P.S. Thank you so much in advance for your feedback on the webinar!
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I made a mistake: that bite, that food, that pound gained.

If you’ve recently been reading my eating peace ebook, thanks for being here! You’ve arrived just in time to attend a live webinar I don’t do very often, in preparation for the Eating Peace Experience coming up at the end of January.

Eating Peace Webinar: Monday January 13th 10:00am PT/ 1:00pm ET/ 7:00pm Europe. Sign up here to attend live and ask me anything. There are also 4 other options for taking this live masterclass–you’ll see them when you click the link to register. A great opportunity to listen, share and do this work together.

(If you’d rather not be on this list, scroll down an unsubscribe any time. I usually send out an email and eating peace video around once every ten days). 

Looking at the world through the eyes of opposites, of right and wrong, of duality….is common. It’s often the only way we seem to know.

In this belief system, there is a Right Way and a Wrong Way to be. With food, eating, body size, appearance.

Right/Wrong, Mistaken Way/ Correct Way, Bad/Good, Successful/Failure, Uncertain/ Certain, Strong/ Wishy-Washy, I Know/ I Don’t Know, Against it/ For It.

Everything’s very black and white, and “clear” in a way, and that’s the GOAL. To know the FINAL answer (like the game show, LOL).

In this world, no ambivalence is allowed, no uncertainty. It’s much better to have certainty and to be right about your way. You might even have supporting data for how your way is the best way, perhaps even the only way.

And then….a “mistake” is made.

Trouble is, when YOU screw up or make a mistake….you follow the usual steps of self-attack, punishment, criticism, anger, disappointment, confusion, fear and a return to “your” way (which is the “right” and “best” way).

I love thinking about all the right/wrong perspective and how it lives so fully in our minds sometimes. It happens in ways that are so much more than only food, eating and body image.

Last week, for example, I offered my live webinar for the first time and made a “mistake” of locking people out of it.

So, the live webinar went to no one “live”.

It was a fun teaching and this material is incredibly profound and powerful for help with understanding the suffering around eating issues–at least it has been for me–but I had no interaction or questions or chats, which seemed confusing.

No comments, no feedback, no emojis.

But is it true that I made a mistake?

Consider the times you’ve taken a compulsive bite of food. You’ve repeated the pattern of overeating, over-indulging, eating the “wrong” thing, shame, secretive thinking. The pain of stuffing in food chaotically without caring about yourself.

Who would you be without the energy of right/wrong and condemnation about this experience?

What if you opened your mind, relaxed with yourself gently, and turned to the possibility that you are not a problem, and there is another way?

Who would you be without the idea that a mistake has been made? Who would you be without the belief you’re sick and twisted and broken and you have to crack down and be rigid?

What if there was another way besides being RIGHT or WRONG?

What if I can notice I’m panic-eating….and be mindful and do The Work of inquiry and shifting my own mind?

Turning the thought around: I have not made a terrible mistake.

I can start again, today, right now. I can breathe deeply, regroup, get support.

Turning around the thought again: my thinking is making a terrible mistake

Yes, especially when I condemn myself and the world and eating and food and weight and other people–or anything else in reality.

Much love,

Grace

 

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The ambivalent pain of both wanting and not wanting to stop eating.

Sign up for it here (pick your best time from 5 other choices). This workshop online will be super informative and very helpful for how to work mindfully to end your eating issues and relax.

One of the most fascinating experiences around compulsion of any kind, is to inquire and look at our ambivalence about ending this destructive off-balance eating thing.

We know even if we feel comfortable today with being “in control” around food and eating, that often LATER, in the future, we might be haunted by the urge to eat.

Things are good now. I might change my mind. I “have to” stay in charge. I need to build up the willpower.

And the inevitable happens.

One day, down the road, we overeat, binge eat, graze eat, blow the “plan”.

Have you ever looked at how stressful it is to stay “on” the plan? To be doing it perfectly or just right? To be following the rules?

Byron Katie says “Don’t be careful, you might hurt yourself.”

I was soooo careful with food, eating, health, body weight, image that I hurt myself deeply.

That can be over at that level. Life with food is supposed to be relaxing, and fun!

Who would we be about the stories we’ve been so sure are true?

If you’d like to join our free facebook community Eating Peace: Question Your Thinking, Change Your Eating visit us HERE. The only requirement is a desire to end disordered thinking/disordered eating. Everyone is welcome.
Much love,
Grace
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The torture of swinging between too much and not enough (+eating peace webinar)

Eating Peace Experience is coming. This is my highest touch, thorough, deep dive program into identifying and questioning the thinking that drives any kind of off-balance eating.

It changes and updates every single time.

We begin January 27, 2020 and go until April 16, 2020 (and probably a bonus week beyond).

Before the program starts, especially if you’re curious about the program or where to begin on this eating peace journey, I’m offering a webinar workshop online at six different times: “Five Stories We Tell That Keep Us Fighting Eating Wars”. 
Save your seat

You can sign up for it here (pick your best time).

I like to think of these five stories as “spells”. Like magic spells, it’s like we’re under a trance assuming what we think is true. We experience craving, eating, stuffing, starving, vowing, worrying, dieting, punishing, criticizing and everything in between when we tend to believe these stories.

How incredible to get off that ride and out of that mindset, for good.

Join me by signing up for the free webinar right here (you’ll get to take a look at the dates offered and choose your best time and day).

NOTE: If you are a previous Eating Peace Online participant, and you’re joining us again (everyone who’s enrolled so far in the program has had access for life) then please make sure you let me know so I can include you in my “active participants” list.

One of my favorite things about this journey of studying compulsion, stress, worry, agony, addiction, pain and suffering is how it becomes easier and easier along the way.

I’m still on a journey, for example, of relaxing around the mind. I feel the anxious nature of mind, and move (hopefully sooner than later) to question the beliefs arising.

The beliefs don’t result in eating off-balance, or hurting myself badly….thank goodness. But they might cause me to wake up at night, or ruminate on something and study it.

Which is OK. Nothing wrong with that. It’s called being human.

There’s nothing wrong with you if you’ve been in and out of compulsion, even for years. You just haven’t learned another way.

Wherever you’ve come from, you can open up to where you are right now, and now, and now and begin to access freedom and peace in this present moment–the only place it actually is.

Here’s how and what to do if you think you can’t and you’ve been having a terrible time with eating (or planning your next food or diet program):

If you’d like to join our free facebook community Eating Peace: Question Your Thinking, Change Your Eating visit us HERE. The only requirement is a desire to end disordered thinking/disordered eating.

Everyone is welcome.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. Friday January 3rd is “First Friday with Grace” which is a 90 minute open complimentary session in The Work of Byron Katie on anything and everything. Join me here.
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Stressful thinking, stressful eating: calming the mind when it comes to feast and social gatherings

I’m researching our fears and worries about young people and eating. Have you ever felt terrified your daughter might be developing an eating disorder?

Have you felt nervous about all the junk food at your sister’s house where she’s raising your nieces and nephews?

If you’ve had any worries at all, I’d love to have your candid answers on this survey here. Thanks for taking the time.

This work will be used for future support for how we can be with eating, food and body image ideals and not freak out but support our children, teens or those we live with. Even if your kids are grown, or you’re not a parent but have definitely been worried about someone developing eating issues….I’d love to hear from you. To fill out the survey please visit here.

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Have you been stressing because of family or other social gatherings, parties, celebrations, feasts?

Lots of food can be present. In fact, even if we’ve wished it to be so, it would be weird NOT to have food at social gatherings with others.

But disordered eating I found was born from disordered thinking.

Those thoughts. They do seem like a problem, don’t they?

In the past, I really believed everything I thought about food, eating and body image.

It was all pretty scary.

The mind was screaming at me: “Watch Out!” or “Get Ready, This Will Be Hard!” (about a holiday feast or celebration for example) or “Be Vigilant!”

You can’t be very internally calm or free when you have a voice running like this inside your head, right?

How to calm down?

Dis-connect yourself from that part of your mind. Notice that it is NOT you anyway–you’re already Not That. It’s only a voice.

You can stop watching that horror movie and stop getting worked up.

Watch how to handle this kind of alarm right here:

If you’d like to join our free facebook community Eating Peace: Question Your Thinking, Change Your Eating visit us HERE. The only requirement is a desire to end disordered thinking/disordered eating. Everyone is welcome.

Much love,

Grace
P.S. I’m working hard behind the scenes on an upcoming free webinar for everyone, coming LIVE in January in preparation for Eating Peace Experience which starts January 27th. Stay tuned for how to sign up for the free webinar and share it with others so we spread the word that eating peace is possible for everyone.
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The only time you aren’t safe with eating, is when you are fearful with food and eating.

Tis the season for many people for eating, over-eating, binge-eating, too much cooking, thinking about food, worrying about food, feeling frustrated or like giving up, avoiding or stuffing yourself at big gatherings or family feasts, or imagining how your new diet will be after January 1st and this year’s resolution.
How many times did I make another new resolution?
Hundreds.
I gave up after awhile.
But it was either despair and apathy, or, fiercely staying on top and “winning” the battle.
There had to be another way.
I would think this, and still feel like it was elusive and impossible.
It begins to seem like there are two primary options for working with this predicament of anxiety, sadness, disappointment and frustration with eating:
a) force, willpower and diets OR
b) not caring, accepting your limits and that you’re diseased or crippled, and doomed to heaviness.
One thing you can do right now today, is begin to be open and curious about an interesting element or feeling with which you might be viewing eating, food, yourself and your urges, your body, and the world…..and it’s called danger.
The belief is that it’s dangerous to be in the presence of food. It’s dangerous to eat. It’s dangerous to be you, around food. It’s dangerous to hunger, or to be full. It’s dangerous to feel strongly. Food is simply dangerous. Having a body is not very safe (it never looks right, or you have to hang on to your fine appearance for dear life).
Here’s how you might work with this fear of danger and lack of trust:
Head to youtube to watch the video HERE.
Finding safety in eating, food, and body.
If you’d like to join our free facebook community Eating Peace: Question Your Thinking, Change Your Eating visit us HERE. The only requirement is a desire to end disordered thinking/disordered eating. Everyone is welcome.
Much love,
Grace