Vlog

So grateful for all those of you who came to the Eating Peace free webinar this past weekend.

As always, I think the last one went the best of all. Please enjoy the Breaking The Spells webinar right HERE.

And now, the new Eating Peace Immersion group gathers for the upcoming seven months to explore our inner stressful stories, being in loving support, un-hooking from internal violence or fear, and relaxing with what is.

In this Eating Peace Program, we’ll be diving for an entire month into each of these five modules, with pre-recorded lessons and practices addressing each one:

• Module ONE: Breaking the Spells of Suffering with Food and Eating
• Module TWO: Satisfied, Safe & Balanced–Whether Hungry or Full
• Module THREE: Trauma to Triumph–Inquiry & Power
• Module FOUR: Body Attack Cease-Fire
• Module FIVE: Living in the Yum Zone

No, we’ll never be on facebook inside this program. The facebook group I’ve mentioned is a free group for anyone wanting to be in inquiry around compulsive or emotional eating. This program does NOT meet there. (Too distracting).

Every few days (and sometimes more often than that) a new lesson is released. It’s pre-recorded and created to follow along, building brick upon brick of practices and insights for our eating peace path. This is all about coming home, step by step on the yellow brick road, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.

We’ll take approximately a month to walk through each “module” or topic, with our lessons and practices.

As we begin the program, you’ll share with me your vision for eating peace and the way of eating you prefer right now. It may be a more structured plan and it may be “eating 3 meals a day sitting down, with no x type of food” and it may be “eating between a 3 and 7 on the hunger scale”.

You sit with what works for you, keeping kindness, support and just the right amount of clarity and pleasure in mind.

From there, the focus when it comes to food itself is on when and where we have trouble with it. We get to investigate when it’s calling like a magnetic force, or when we find ourselves disturbed with what is, or what’s happened.

These moments are fabulous clues for looking closely at our minds, our thoughts, our feelings….and inquiring.

We begin to pull in other ingredients to our daily lives, like compassionate listening, partner work with others (if we choose) and of course our regular inquiry telecalls as a group. We sit in silent meditation (everyone begins with five minutes a day) or become curious about why we don’t want to sit?

A base foundation for eating peace is relaxing. How many times have you screamed at yourself? Has it worked?

Maybe for a day or two. The violent internal thinking never worked for me.

A remarkable part of this program is the level of live contact. You have the option to dial in, believe it or not, 5 days a week.

Three of our calls are for 30 minute meditations in inquiry on very common and profoundly stressful thoughts when it comes to eating, ourselves and our bodies or food. These three shorter inquiry meditations meet Mondays 4 pm PT, Wednesdays 9 am PT and Fridays at Noon PT.

Two of the calls (Tues 4 pm PT and Thurs 8 am PT) are longer 90 minute sessions addressing our topics and practices with Q & A and personal coaching, and inquiry if we have time.

Not everyone will attend the calls live, of course. But hopefully your schedule will make it possible to be on one of the longer 90 minute calls, and at least one of the short inquiry jams. They’re intentionally offered at a variety of times so your time zone or schedule works.

But the good news is, they are all recorded so even those who can’t make a thing, and if you actually prefer listening only….you’ll have them all on recording to use as a guided practice for your own learning.

As we move along through the days and weeks in the program, we become willing to fully feel our disturbed feelings and the places we’re compulsive. We become acutely aware.

We take a look at the images, rules, beliefs, ideas, fears we have about all this troubled eating, just one belief at a time (thank goodness, only one is required).

I’ve done this many times myself, and I’m still thrilled to enter such an inquiry practice. I get to apply and refine where I sense my own thinking wanting to move away from accepting powerfully What Is.

I notice a compulsion with over-working, for example.

My belief: I have to keep working, creating. Like a dog grabbing a bone or a monkey not being able to let go of the food with a tight fist.

I can’t stop.

Is it true?

Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Are you sure you won’t be safe if you stop? Are you sure you’re truly unable to stop?

Hmmm. No.

How do you react, what happens, when you believe you can’t stop?

I panic. I just do the thing (eat, smoke, drink, work). I ignore the disturbances within and press on. I resist.

Who would you be without this belief that you can’t stop?

WHAT?!?

You mean….

Yes. What if you didn’t know anything about stopping or not stopping in this moment, and you sat with this moment here now, not believing (thinking repetitively) over and over that you can’t?

Turning the thought around: I CAN stop. My thinking can’t stop–only my thinking. But I can. I don’t have to believe everything I think. I am able to sit still, even if my mind is yelling to keep working, or get something to eat, or starve myself even if I’m hungry.

I find this lighter, curious and fun. I become interested in testing out my ability and capacity for stopping, and for becoming a true explorer of this inner world.

An Eating Peace Explorer. Awesome.

The usual approach to this whole eating problem is to apply a technical fix around food management. Whenever I solved my eating problem this way, I spent more time thinking about food. Not less.

This inquiry work, using the powerful Work of Byron Katie, allows us to catch the movement towards compulsion, the habit of escape, avoidance, resistance.

When we see this quick-moving moment of focus on food or eating or weight-loss or self-criticism, we know to slow down, and sit with the discomfort. It’s there anyway. No amount of compulsive force will hide it forever.

Here’s the magical thing that happens, though, when we take a look, or even become willing to look at what troubles us: the usual pattern shifts.

Slightly in a tiny sliver of almost imperceptible change. Or, in a big lurching movement towards another view, and destination.

Who knows. The process moves in whatever way is just right, for you.

What I’ve found is we do not have to be controlled, or to follow, the directives of our unquestioned thoughts.

We can discover how to do less about food, or anything, and end the cycle.

As our life with self-inquiry unfolds, our life is touched by joyful, happy, balanced eating because our thoughts are no longer frightened, violent, confused or arguing with reality.

And even when we’re stressed, or scared….we do not have to turn to thoughts of food, dieting, or other obsessive behaviors (drinking, drugging, smoking, spending, buying, ruminating, fantasizing, using, planning, working, busying, cleaning, worrying) to address our troubles.

Wow.

The Tin Man: What have you learned, Dorothy?

Dorothy: Well, I think that it wasn’t enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em–it’s that, if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with!

What good news. We have not lost anything. We are not missing what it takes to completely heal our compulsions.

All we need to do is to inquire, and find our honest answers.

“If the mind depends on anything, it becomes the I-Know mind, and ego flailing around in apparent space and time, always trying to define itself, always trying to prove that is judgments are real, that its whole world is real. The mind’s only way out is in: the mind inside itself, Buddha-mind, responding to the illusion of a self. Once the illusion is questioned, it can no longer exist. It appears as inconsequential, funny, and completely insane.~ Byron Katie in A Mind At Home With Itself

If it’s right for you, I hope you’ll feel brave enough to take the journey in through the months ahead. We have five calls per week offered through April, then Tues/Thurs only through June.

Everyone in Eating Peace Program can participate for free in Summer Camp For The Mind (week day inquiry practice for 6-7 weeks in July and August for everyone and anyone in the world).

Everyone who joins has access for life.

You can sign up here. (Scroll down to see the payment options).

As far as I can tell, there’s not much to lose…..except your stressful stories from the mind trying to prove judgments about lack-of-success, eating, food, bodies, acceptance, love, approval and rest.

I’d rather question my thinking, and become the one who it no longer occurs to flail about (eat) in a frightening or irritating world.

“You either believe your thoughts, or you question them….there’s no other choice.” ~ Byron Katie

Let’s inquire, together.

Ahhhhhhhhh.

Much love,
Grace

True Confessions: I have so many ideas and offerings for eating peace, and studying the way compulsive behavior occurs (and how to dissolve it)….

….it may seem like an information overload data dump of invitations from me to come do The Work on eating, food or body image. Webinar, class, another webinar, facebook, youtube video, eating peace note, webinar again, in-person workshop, facebook live.

What is going on? So much!!

Maybe like a binge. Heh heh.

See how I am? Some things never change (haha, I question that).

I jest, but I appreciate those of you who have asked “what are you offering, and when are you offering it, and what venue and where, because I’m confused!!”

So if you were confused by webinars, facebook thingies, videos, needing to opt-in or wondering where you’re supposed to go to find out more about Eating Peace in any form, then you really are not alone.

There are two things:
1) Breaking The Spell of Eating Battles webinar
2) Facebook LIVE daily Mindful Inquiry for Eating Troubles

TODAY November 4th, if when the one-week mindful inquiry course begins: The Daily Practice of Eating Peace. We’re going to question our thinking.

This course will happen inside facebook in the eating peace facebook private group, with a live video each day. You can come live so I can interact with you and your comments and participation OR you can watch the recording later–it will be saved immediately and stay right there in the facebook group.

I’ll offer one thought every day I have found exceptionally useful to question if you want to stop over-doing eating or dieting or anything compulsive. We’ll inquire together Nov 4th-10th.

Our focus is on compulsion around eating, weight, body image and food, because that was my thing. And it felt horrible.

To join in this daily facebook live deal, simply request membership in the group here. No opt-in with emails required.

So the second offering I’ve been yakkety-yakking about for weeks is a 90 minute webinar called Breaking The Spell of Eating Battles. I’ve held it twice so far.

I’ll offer it one more time live on November 11th, but if all you want to do is WATCH the thing right NOW….please enjoy it right here. If you click that link, you’ll get taken to the recording. Yes, I had so many requests and I truly hope it serves.

Phew. I hope that was a bit easier?

If you feel like letting me know what the webinar is like for you, or you have questions or feedback, I’d love to hear from you. Write to me by hitting reply to this note, or emailing grace@workwithgrace.com.

Hopefully, these two Eating Peace offerings I’ve just mentioned are more understandable now, and it will be easier to “consume” them (and not overdo it).

Keeping it simple is such a beautiful thing. The mind loves complication and finding the right answer, doesn’t it? Or the right diet or way to live with eating and food and exercise. Mind will say there’s a right way, and it’s not here (sad day).

The calmest way I know, is to question anything that feels positively absolutely permanently “right” or “wrong” and notice what’s here now, in this present moment, with awareness and patience and compassion.

Which brings me to sharing with you something that came out of one other third in-person thing I did in Seattle. OK! It’s a lot! I know!

During the presentation and workshop, I summarized three beliefs to question if you’ve experienced compulsion in your life and wondered how to stop doing the thing(s) you do that don’t serve.

They’re broad areas, but amazing questions and beliefs to bring to the four questions and turnarounds. So I’m sharing them with you here:

What to do now?

Get out your notebook, or find a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet, and begin to identify just one thought at a time that runs through your mind, that when you think it, you hurt. It feels bad. You feels stressed. You eat. You obsess about Not Eating. You think about food and diets.

Then, start contemplating that thought using The Work.

“Take each judgment separately through the inquiry process. The Work is meditation. It’s about awareness; it’s not about trying to change your mind. Let the mind ask the questions, then contemplate. Take your time, go inside, and wait for the deeper answers to surface.” ~ Byron Katie on her basic “how to do The Work” instructions.

Much love,
Grace

P.S.
Registration is excitingly underway for Eating Peace Process which begins November 13th. Awesome beautiful inquirers are joining, including those who are repeating from previous years. Read about it here.

Is eating a battle zone? If it is (it was a nuclear war for me) you can sign up for my free webinar offering here.

Then on November 4th a new experiment in sharing: an 8 day challenge in eating peace on facebook live. Sign up HERE to receive daily alerts via email for the live course and you can also find me on facebook here. I’ll send out the schedule very soon for everyone participating (we meet in mornings Pacific Time).

When my eating world seemed like a battle zone, one of the primary emotions propelling the ups and downs….

….was rage.

Rage Eating.

I was so furious at the rules, regulations, requirements, management, arguments, powerlessness, enforcements.

It sometimes felt like the whole thing, all of life really, was one big thing to “deal” with.

I’d hold my breath and take it, and do what was needed, and then something would snap and the anger would come out sideways like a geyser.

In the form of eating food.

Everything I ever wanted I ate that day, from one end of town to the other.

Then, of course, I’d feel absolute disgust, hatred and rage with myself.

Several years ago, I witnessed on video Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of non-violent communication, speak about facilitating raging mad prison inmates to find peace with others.

The inmates rebellious hatred of authority or “the man” had a similar feel to rage eating I had done.

The feeling of anger at What Is Greater, and the feeling of anger at ourselves at the same time.

I didn’t like myself when I raged against anything (even though partially it felt like a relief at first), and I’d isolate and hide from the world after the eating or raging was over, licking my wounds. Which is an interesting way of putting it using the word “licking”, right?

There’s something soothing about licking, what some animals literally do for their own wounds. It’s normal to find food and eating soothing, like medicine for the attack.

What Marshall Rosenberg did with these gangs of men who were so furious, was offer them a way to be heard and then speak, then listen, and use “I” statements instead of lashing out and making accusatory statements.

Rooms with hugely violent emotional energy in them completely softened, as men heard what others had to say and became willing to listen a moment and wonder what it was like to stand in the others’ shoes and consider who needed what, including themselves.

When no one felt cut off, hated, or disrespected… …something pretty remarkable began to happen. People found themselves able to relate to the other.

Then, in that space of connection and listening, dialogue could continue, and understanding.

What are we afraid of? What voice are we trying to shut down or cut off, because it’s frightening? Where do we feel we have no say, or no way to get our needs met? Where does it seem like you have no choice but to eat (or do some other kind of compulsive behavior)?

Was it really true that I was being pummeled by life, or that relationship, or this circumstance, or the rules about food, eating and being thin?

Who would I be without my thoughts, my story, about people, places, things, food, or my own mind coming at me?

Just today, a beautiful inquirer doing The Work on her feeling of compulsion with eating said that without the thoughts of fighting with something, fighting with others, fighting with the craving….she’d be aware of the vast nothingness around.

And suddenly, not so comfortable with it.

Sometimes, the wild mysterious vast expansive place we can experience when we wonder who we’d be without our story of arguing with reality…..

…..is a bit frightening.

But there’s one simple place to begin, when you notice you’re experiencing angry eating. You can at the very start question your thought that you shouldn’t be angry.

Is it true?

Without the belief I shouldn’t be angry, and I shouldn’t eat over my anger, I could ask myself what my rage is about? What does it have to say?

This would be a very kind thing to do, and a very loving-parent thing to do. It would be a respectful, clear, open-minded orientation to the experience of rage, and to feeling unmet needs, and to sharing life with others here in this world.

“To imagine that some little thing–food, sex, power, fame–will make you happy is to deceive oneself. Only something as vast and deep as your real self can make you truly and lastingly happy.” ~ Nisargadatta Maharaj

Maybe uncovering your real self begins with saying what you’re angry about, and listening closely, with respect.

I hope you’ll also join me in the Eating Peace webinar.

Much love,
Grace

Eating Peace Process 5 month Immersion starts November 13th. Short lessons each week, group calls every week, 3 live inquiry calls each week. Lots of contact and connection to dissolve isolation and share in honesty and freedom.