When we feel like a victim of our own eating behavior….and can’t get out of it. The Work.

I’ve often been stunned by the level of cruelty in my own mind towards myself, especially in my former history of eating and body attack.

When I was in graduate school long ago, I learned of a classic description of psychological personality pain called the “drama triangle”.

In this triangle, put very simplistically, there are three positions:

Victim

Persecutor

Rescuer

The victim feels like Poor Me, I can’t do it right, I’m a piece of s&*t.

The persecutor says “you are the worst person in the world, I will fight, hurt and punish you until the day you die” (and other very mean thoughts and attitudes).

The rescuer comes in and tries to help saying “Awww, you’re OK, really you are. This will all pass, just hang on. Be positive. Everything’ll be fine. Want something nice to eat?”

Sometimes, we’re in this triangle with actual people: parents and children, friend groups with some friends fighting or rescuing other friends, the relationship between partners taking on roles of victim, rescuer, or persecutor.

We can switch these roles within our own psyches in an instant, in order to stay safe (we think), depending on the situation.

If we feel compulsive or addictive, like in eating off balance as I did, we’ll use these three unhealthy unbalanced voices to try to assert change or find some kind of relief.

Trouble is, you stay in a very tormented story where no one is the hero and no one ever succeeds or feels peaceful.

And oh my, when we feel like we’re a victim of our own behavior, with food or otherwise, we feel DOOMED.

My greatest enemy?

Me!

Yikes, how do I get rid of her, if she’s me?

If you’ve felt like a victim of yourself, I hope this commentary helps.

When I go on youtube live, I never know where we’ll end up or what will happen….or how long I’ll speak.

But one thing that’s lovely to notice now in life: I am not a victim of my behavior in how I speak on youtube (rambling as it may be, LOL).

There’s not a “big mistake” (or maybe there is, but it’s not so dramatic or forever).

I hope it serves.

I love your questions about healing off-balance eating, thinking and feeling.

When we find freedom from the torture of unnecessary suffering around food and eating or body hatred, we can find our minds and hearts have the capacity for great love.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. For Eating Peace work, the next event is Eating Peace Experience which is an immersion group starting Monday, October 5th. Learn more HERE.