It’s something people feel so angry about when they’re dieting, or trying not to eat certain foods.
When we feel deprived in a diet, everything gets lazer-focused on this food we “can’t” have.
If you notice you feel upset about NOT GETTING something you want….
….you might get stuck in a really difficult pattern of grabbing what you want, then avoiding what you want, then condemning yourself for what you want.
You get stuck in using violence and punishment or scarcity to control your mind, eating, and your future.
If you say “no” to something, you’ll really, really be deprived.
Let’s do The Work.
is that true that if you say “no” and you feel and attend only to your body’s signals, you’ll be deprived?
Yes! I want to taste, to enjoy, to consume! I don’t care what my body feels like!
Can you absolutely know it’s true you’ll feel deprived if you say no to eating something, drinking something, doing something?
Hmmmm. No.
How do you react when you believe you’ll experience physical or emotional pain when you say “no”?
Today I share this inquiry in the eating peace video.
Who would you be without this story of suffering?
Notice this moment, now. Today.
Happy New Moment.
What is it like, without considering the future? (Or, the past)?
In two weeks the annual Eating Peace Retreat assembles. Still room for two more to stay, both onsite if you like in our gorgeous retreat house. A beautiful time of being with food and silence and inquiry, in the community of others, and actually feeling eating peace. Jan 11-15. Join me.
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The mind is genius.
It sees through eyes, ears, smells, memories, imagination.
So much is going on in the head, in our thoughts, its quite astonishing. It’s all happening while we walk, run, buy groceries, drive somewhere, vacuum the floor, even talk with others.
And then there’s food.
Many people say that this time of year is the hardest when it comes to binge-eating, graze-eating, eating off the diet because of goodies and feasts and dinners with others.
I don’t know about you, but I had trouble with eating no matter what time of year it was. I really didn’t see any difference between December and July.
I’d get triggered, have emotional reactions (sometimes old repetitive ones), feel terror, anxiety, anger, sadness or depression….
….and cravings would arise, as my mind showed me images of what would help ease or soothe the pain. Food.
But that mind isn’t always right.
I’m sure you’ve noticed.
What if you asked your hand to keep you company, or how it recommends reacting to the situation, instead of your mind?
Because the inner mental voice, that takes everything very personally, that voice in the mind (which we’ve talked about a lot) can be screaming to eat the food.
The same mind can also consider and know where eating will go. Nowhere particularly useful–and in the long run absolutely NOT useful. You know what will happen already. You’ll have a moment of relief as you taste and feel the food in your mouth and swallowing it, and then instantly you’ll want more, or start screaming at yourself that you just screwed up.
What if there’s something other than your mind to listen to, when it comes to this whole feeling-uncomfortable-craving-eating cycle?
What if you consulted your hand, for example, about what to do in any situation with food and eating present?
There is a part of you, of all of us, that’s more expansive than the mind that’s talking about eating. Really.
You can say “no” with a craving, or emotion, running through the body. You can handle not eating.
You don’t have to believe your thoughts that say you can’t handle the tension, or the urge to eat, or the emotional triggers that appear.
If a crazy aunt was yelling at you in the corner to EAT EVERYTHING IN SIGHT (or smoke, drink, steal, work, lie) you wouldn’t automatically believe she’s got the right idea.
You can actually sit back, rest, and stop.
Nothing is required.
“When someone loves what is, she makes use of anything life happens to bring her way, because she doesn’t con herself anymore. What comes her way is always good. She sees that clearly, even though people may say otherwise.” ~ Byron Katie
For me, this doesn’t have to mean I condone or feel ecstatic about what comes my way, but I’m not fighting with it…I’m not fighting with my memories, or food, cravings, eating, people, emotions, circumstances. I’m letting all those things be there, as they are. No argument.
It means I don’t have to eat, if I’m not hungry.
It may not feel comfortable…but I’m not conning myself with my own mind that I can’t handle a situation, that my only option is to eat if I crave, that my emotions are intolerable.
I can turn those thoughts around: I can handle it, my only peaceful option is to NOT eat, my emotions are tolerable and part of the human experience.
When someone first asked me to offer a retreat in The Work specifically for people to work on eating issues, food judgments, or upsetting thoughts about their bodies….
….I’ll be honest. I thought almost immediately “No Thanks.”
The world of compulsion, addiction, zombie trance eating that I had experienced for many years was so brutal. Especially the tricky, vicious voices related to emotional eating and hatred of fatness and a glorifying of thinness.
These were tough topics. They had been so filled with suffering for me. I wanted to leave them behind, and never look back.
I was also nervous that people might not find answers, or “get” how to apply self-inquiry to their eating or weight or compulsions.
I noticed out in the world, people got angry, perfectionistic, discouraged and very opinionated about food and ways of eating (raw, protein-heavy, meat-eaters, vegan, pure, anti-this, pro-that, anti-rules, pro-rules).
Or was it me who had experienced all that conflict in my own mind?
Hmmm. The world of eating, and my body image, was a battle field for sure–whether I was succeeding or failing.
As time passed and I worked with more and more people one-to-one, exploring the world of upside-down or troubled eating, I knew it would be of service to share in lightening the agony. I knew people could come together and investigate how to reach the natural state of peace we all were born with.
My first workshop was what some might call a….big flop.
In creating the curriculum, I thought I needed at least a weekend, including Friday night. I drew from retreats that had helped me. I felt confident in imagining the exercises and ways of bringing The Work and self-inquiry into all facets of the retreat. I had done many of these exercises with people in solo sessions. I felt excited.
Then, when it got time to put it on the calendar and announce it, only a few people expressed interest. And the person who had originally asked me to create a retreat was no longer living in the area, and not wanting to travel back to Seattle only for a weekend.
This was back when I was so new at offering facilitation and guidance, my confidence was the size of a peanut.
Three people signed up for the retreat.
One of them attended by skype from Colorado. We had a spot set up for her on a little table in my living room. Another drove a distance from Oregon, and a third kind gentleman came from fairly close by in Seattle.
As I mention in today’s video, the way I structured the schedule, everyone went off at meal breaks and got their choice of foods, with instructions to eat mindfully, notice their thoughts, write them down, and then return in 90 minutes.
Although everyone felt calmer around food and eating, no one reported feeling very different with food. One person even said they ate something they usually don’t eat, and they weren’t too sure this had been a good idea.
The exercises were powerful and interesting, the inquiry was thought-provoking and offered insights….but how could the people coming to a retreat on eating peace actually experience something different in their eating?
As I pondered this over time, I read about a man who had a vibrant zen meditation practice, who also had had many overeating or compulsive eating issues in his life, who loved bringing peace into his relationship with food.
*PING*!
It was like a little bell went off.
I myself hadn’t been willing to sit with people and share what it was like to mindfully and peacefully eat–to guide people in the experience itself.
If I wasn’t willing to expose myself in a meal for all the world to see, certainly they wouldn’t be willing either.
I knew what to do. I needed to have everyone who came to retreat eat together, in a different way. It needed to be a part of the practice, the process, the experience.
So that’s how a full immersion retreat was born. Instead of me going away to be all by myself eating whatever I wanted, dang-it, I’d eat whatever I wanted in plain sight.
No need to rebel, defend, or fight for whatever it was I was eating. No need to hold judgments about whether I did it right, or wrong.
I knew this, I had felt the peace of caring kindly for my own body, and now if I wanted to share it honestly with others, it was time to actually do that, for reals.
So the next retreat was different.
The planning was different, the feeling inside myself was different, the peanut-sized confidence didn’t really matter….I felt love and willingness to flop again, if that’s what happened….but also, I trusted the inspiration.
I wanted to join with others on the same journey, who had been suffering when it came to food.
I actually felt this weird sensation of knowing I was going to offer what I always wished was available for me, so long ago, when I felt crushing desperation about how to eat normally, and like I couldn’t find out how.
Now, this Eating Peace Retreat has become four days long. And honestly, it could become longer at some point.
But for now, we gather on a Thursday night (January 11th) for this upcoming annual retreat, we meet Friday, Saturday and Sunday from 9:00 am to 9:00 pm, and Monday morning (January 15th) we meet two more hours as a final session together.
I’m with you every step of the way. We eat, think, inquire, feel, explore, walk, and move together.
We identify our most painful thoughts about being in this world with food–what we’ve learned to fear or hate. You get to pick your own food, on purpose, and give yourself what you want and need.
We identify our most painful thoughts about moving, about energy and physicality or whatever’s called “exercise”–every difficult, furious or tormented thought about any of it, and take it through the inquiry process. We’ll do some moving together, without the mind running the show.
We identify our most painful thoughts about what other people think of us, what they see, what they’ve said, what we think it means about us. We identify our beliefs about hunger, fullness, and the foods we have the greatest trouble with.
All of these thoughts, we can question.
We tie in The Work of Byron Katie with all of these stressful, troubling ideas we’ve had in our minds. The Work is the most simple, beautiful, lazer-sharp way to dissolve our suffering about food, our weight, our eating.
This retreat is intentionally left small. I offer it once a year in Seattle (yes, I know I should offer it again during a little more light and a little less rain…stay tuned, this is coming).
Everyone who attends, I’ll be checking in with a month after the retreat to see how you’re doing and if your life with eating needs further support. Everyone at the retreat will leave with partners to do this work with over the phone or skype, so they can stay in touch with questioning their stressful thinking.
What I know now, is I can’t label the Eating Peace Retreat as a big flop anymore.
It’s been phenomenal.
I’m so moved, deeply touched, and in awe of what people learn about themselves through the process of being together and doing The Work on memories, beliefs and struggles they’ve never questioned before….about food, their bodies, their eating.
I am so, so amazed to find that the terrible, frightening, wild and chaotic eating I used to do actually brought me home to a bigger, brighter, more enlightened world….and that the same difficult experience brings me to serve others who want to find a way of eating peace, too.
I wanted to thank you for a wonderful retreat. It was life changing. The Work has been such an amazing tool in my life and to combine it with eating peace could not be more perfect. In my heart I feel it was the missing piece and exactly what I was hoping for when I signed up and more. I am so grateful and excited to practice eating peace in my daily life and continue to use The Work on my stressful thoughts around food and eating….Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your guidance, wisdom and teaching, it is such a great gift to share.
~ Participant January 2017
Eating Peace Retreat is only a month away. I’d be honored to have you, if it’s right. To register, visit here. Room for one more person in the retreat house (ask about how to reserve) and also room for one in a lovely airbnb run by friends close by is still available. Write with your questions.
And now….what if when you think about all this eating and being together, and eating mindfully in a group….it makes you want to run the other way. Fast!?
What if the REBEL comes out when you’re trying to eat peacefully? What if the very thought of slowing down, and sitting with people on an eating peace retreat….makes you want to jump out of your skin, or to strangle something?
It’s definitely how I used to feel (and still do sometimes). Watch the video today to see what happened for me around the Rebel, and how to be with it and let it be here, staying safe and clear at the same time.
Now, I know I’ve talked about the Meanie Voice in our heads many times. It’s violent, destructive, and has no issue with rattling of criticism non-stop of other people, life, the world, and YOU.
In the Eating Peace Process recently, and in three separate solo sessions with people in the past couple of weeks, I heard different versions of that voice dishing out it’s ongoing complaints about food, eating, the body.
I used to have these kinds of thoughts constantly.
you’re a loser
you’ll never get over this eating this
you’re so selfish, you can’t stop being greedy for one day
you always go unconscious when it comes to food
you never stay present and wise
you’re so unenlightened, you’re not even spiritual at all
what a mess
you should give up
Yikes.
Sometimes, that voice is so discouraging and mean, it says you don’t deserve to live. I thought it. I remember.
So this is an extremely powerful place to bring The Work into your mind.
Not once. Not twice. Daily. Regularly.
Long ago, a stranger gave me a note after I shared in a 12 step meeting. It said my negative thinking about myself was a form of Negative Grandiosity.
It made me practically gasp when I read the note. Grandiose? Me?
But. I try so hard. I’m a failure. I’m doing it wrong. I’m the worse person in the world.
Ah ha!
That’s a pretty grandiose thing to say. If you look up grandiose, it means impressively large, massive, over-the-top, containing more detail than necessary, huge, pompous.
It’s true, when it comes to that negative spew of self-hatred the inner violent voice can deliver. It’s so serious. The humor is non-existent. There’s a huge checklist of details for the crimes you’ve committed with food, or even thinking about food.
This is a good place for inquiry. Let’s do The Work.
Is it true that when it comes to food and eating you’re a loser, selfish, unenlightened, mess, hopeless?
Uh, yeah. Did you see the way I ate (remembering me at age 25 in the middle of a full-fledged raving binge)?
Can you absolutely know this is 100% the truth, this list? Really?
Deep breath. No.
Even if you say “yes”, you can keep going to the next question in The Work.
But I personally can’t really can’t find even as I consider my former gobbling self that I was pure loser and this was the Truth.
I lived through it. The mean voice didn’t “win” or dominate forever. I had gaps of peace. I slept at night. I achieved some other things, despite eating. I read books. I sought help. I studied. I had some friends. I wrote short stories and poetry. I had jobs.
Who would you be without your story of self-hatred?
Who would you be without the belief YOU are ALL THOSE terrible things? Loser, eater, binger, addict, messed up, screwed up, failure, unconscious, unloveable.
What if you couldn’t prove it? What if you didn’t think it? What if you just got here from another planet and had no reference for what a human is supposed to be doing with food? What if what you are isn’t all that? What if the way it’s been going with eating is for some simple, or important, reason….and it doesn’t mean you’re basically made out of garbage?
Who would you be without thinking the crushing mean one is right?
Ahhhhhh.
Curious.
Wondering what’s going on, then?
I notice I’d be gentle with myself. Kind. I’d rock myself like a baby and say “there, there, sweetheart” and feel the anxiety, or fear, or sadness, or anger present. I’d know all is going to be OK in the end, without the belief I’m a loser.
I wouldn’t feel like the Worst Person in the World.
Turning the thoughts around: My thinking is losing, not getting over this, selfish, greedy, unconscious, unable to be wise and present, unenlightened, not spiritual, messy, and should give up.
Woah. True. Especially when it comes to eating, me, food, my body, and the moment I’ve got such a judgmental voice running through me, that attacks me with such aggression.
My thinking appears to believe in violence as a motivator. It appears to offer war, not peace.
Turning around the thoughts again: I am NOT a loser, I’m a winner, getting over this, selfless, not greedy enough, conscious, able to be wise and present, enlightened, spiritual, clear, and still here (not giving up).
Yes. I’m dedicated to the truth. I’m willing to look at my thoughts and question them. I’m determined to get this squared away and put it to rest in my life, whatever it takes.
I’m a winner in the sense that the whole of who I am–a peaceful loving person–is the strongest part of me, not the binge-eater. I’m conscious, and willing to see that this mean voice is a bully, and not a mature human being.
I’m conscious because I’m able to see what I did was off-balance, with food. I have the power–I wasn’t born missing something. I had my eyes open while I was eating. I was there the whole time. I can bring out the part of me that believes in peace instead of violence, and hold steady with that like a great tree. I can stick up for myself, and take care of my own needs.
All I know is….that voice really never succeeded in motivating me to either A) stop eating, lose weight permanently, find peace with food, or B) take myself completely out through suicide or insanity.
It’s only a voice–an energy pattern, a habit.
Would you believe someone else who spoke like that to you?
It’s funny the way we’ll say all the time “I did it again”.
Ugh. I repeated the pattern of eating too much, eating off-balance, binge-eating, eating the foods that make me feel sick later on.
I overate at the company dinner. I stuffed myself all night at home alone and went to bed full. I ordered the same thing as my friends when we went out. I ignored my fullness when my aunt offered me seconds.
What if we studied that moment, instead of being AGAINST it?
What if instead of shame, horror, disappointment, and calling yourself names….you were kind?
Here’s how: You can ask yourself what’s going on, that would create such havoc in your eating?
“What’s bothering you, sweetheart?” you could said to yourself.
If it feels like you can’t possibly drum up such a compassionate, loving voice towards yourself, don’t worry. I never could much either when I had my compulsive tendencies with food and eating and self-criticism.
But the following exercise may offer something that heads at least in the same direction of curiosity about what’s off, when our eating is off.
Imagine you in that situation where you wind up eating every time.
(It’s OK if it’s the moment you wake up, because you think about food all day long).
Now ponder this question: What if you didn’t have food available as a thing you liked? What if food wasn’t interesting? What if food or eating wasn’t a possibility?
Don’t just say “that would be fantastic”.
This is about wondering what’s going on deep within that tends to move towards eating in a way that ultimately doesn’t really work, because you don’t know what else to do.
There’s something within that moves to food as a solution. What’s the problem? What needs to be solved?
Who would you be without eating as an action, choice, pattern, experience?
When I first really sat with this question, it frightened me. I thought if I didn’t have food and eating as a THING….I might go crazy with all the conflict I felt inside.
But who would I be without my Go To eating reaction?
A powerful question.
What’s this invitation, at a much deeper level, that eating off-balance is bringing you to see?
By definition, a process is a series of actions, steps, adjustments, movements….all working together towards an end or a direction. A procession is a collection of people moving as a part of a greater whole, towards the same destination.
There’s an awareness of “time” with a process, but also action, movement, motion, flow. Going from there, to here. Or here, to there.
I love that eating peace is a process, just like “thinking” peace.
We’re identifying our stressful thoughts, watching what happens when we believe them (including the way we eat) and wondering what it would be like to not believe those thoughts.
It can be a vast and wonderful experience, this process. It’s life unfolding before us. We’re learning all the way.
And guess what?
I just offered an Eating Peace webinar training this most recent Saturday morning….and learned something.
I had added a segment, and it turned out to be waaaay too big a bite to chew. (I love those eating metaphors).
I learned that I need to remove the extra I wanted to offer–I get so excited about supporting people to enter an eating peace process–and leave it as “plenty” or “enough”. There’s always more we can learn, you know? And we don’t have to learn it all at once.
Just like meals. We don’t have to eat it all at once.
Food will be there again for us to enjoy when the body is once again ready. No need to pack it all in now.
If you missed the too-long Saturday webinar, join me for Tuesday’s webinar at 4 pm PT OR Thursday’s at 8 am PT. I love offering this webinar live and sharing it with you. I’ll answer questions about the Eating Peace Process and share about the content of the in-depth program at the very end.
Let’s question our thinking, watch what gets adjusted naturally….notice what works, what doesn’t. We’re refining our perceptions of reality, we’re dropping our stressful thinking (which doesn’t work) by investigating it closely. We’re opening up to movement in the direction of peace without blame, violence, control, or self-hatred.
What I notice is as we question our thoughts, find our own answers, we become deep experts in our own inner world.
When you have an inner world you’re open to exploring….peace arises in the mind.
Thinking peace leads to eating peace. No other option really.
My grandma used to comment and shake her head and my three sisters and I if she was taking us out……
“Slow as molasses”.
She always had a twinkle in her eye, and loved going on adventures.
The other day, I thought of her as I was spending some time with a little ebook I’ve written in the past, updating and changing it and adding to it.
I wanted to bring you an exercise you can do every single day for seven days….after considering the seven tricky and common beliefs people (including me) think that tend to keep us conflicted and in the middle of eating wars, not so much eating peace.
I like easy step-by-step recipes. Not long ago, I downloaded a lovely seven days of different green smoothies, and it made trying a new smoothie each day for seven days so incredibly easy! I wanted to give you a sense of one small thing you can do each day too, to help with self-inquiry and eating issues of any kind. To download the updated Eating Peace guide, click here. (Feedback welcome).
I know following a process isn’t always easy, when it comes to the mind. The mind is so fast, and so full. But that’s what I love so much about The Work of Byron Katie.
It’s a way to focus on one specific single dilemma, conflict, or painful belief, and explore it to see if it’s really true for you….step-by-step. What a relief to follow the directions, and investigate, and find the turnarounds.
Today, I made a video for you to share about exploring the very first painful belief I share in the Eating Peace eguide: Urgency.
I used to eat super fast. When I binged, I had a constant flow of energy to get more, more, more. Hardly tasting the thing I was currently eating before grabbing for the next bite.
Even slow graze-eating all evening, I would have a restless buzzing where I couldn’t stop. Or at least, I believed I couldn’t.
Believing there was a deep imperative need to go as fast as possible (fear, anxiety, demand, forcefulness) for many years blocked me from seeing many other thoughts I had that I might have been able to question, had I slowed down for two seconds.
To keep it simple, we’re only beginning with this extremely common shout the mind sometimes screams from inside, for speed. I used to feel like it was an emergency unless I ate something, or that there was no way I could calmly and slowly chew my meal. I ate literally walking out the door sometimes, and often in my car.
What could it offer, to slow down and be willing to see what else is happening with food, with my mind, with feelings, and with my contact with reality, besides responding to an emergency?
Almost always, my emergency was about relationship, the past, the imagined future, uncomfortable feelings, or self-criticism. When I slowed down my Emergency Switch, I began to understand more what was going on inside me that my eating reflected.
We can keep it simple. Join me here to wonder about the turnaround (hint: being slow). You can start practicing it today, if you follow along with the guide!
Eating Peace Process, a very in-depth high touch program to address all aspects of life with mind and food, is coming in only one month. Stay tuned to watch for my signature free live webinars on eating peace November 4th, 7th and 9th to learn more about how to bring this practice into your daily life, and find out about the immersion program. To read more about it, visit here. If you have questions, email me at any time grace@workwithgrace.com.
Everyone has voices running in their heads, have you noticed?
Of course, you can really only hear your own. It’s there when no one else is talking or you have a quiet space of time, or you’re all alone.
It sometimes talks as if it’s another person, saying “you should go to that party, you shouldn’t wear that, you should weed your yard…you should eat something!”
So goofy. Who is that?
And when it gets mean, or steers you to something you’d really rather not do….like eat more when you’re full, or eat that thing you know makes you feel sick later….then it’s especially odd.
Do I have a companion in my head that’s not exactly friendly?
Yes, it sure seems so. Not friendly at all. Downright violent and totally destructive sometimes.
The thing is, you don’t have to listen to it.
I know that sounds so mundanely simple, you might be thinking “Doh! Why didn’t I think of that!” because you HAVE listened many times and bumped into that voice over and over, and it’s guided your actions or movements, your thoughts and emotions.
But today, despite it sounding a little too simplistic, I suggest you invite that voice in, and find out what it’s really made of, find out what it has to say, and perhaps why it’s chirping all those suggestions that don’t really serve your best interest.
AND most importantly, treat it like it’s not exactly sane. Don’t listen to it. Who’s in charge anyway? You are. The full and complete you. The one who’s listening.
Sometimes feelings are so chaotic and wild, we feel crazy as they ride through us, along with all our thoughts that caused the feelings in the first place. Feelings seem to cause distress, turmoil, upset and fatigue.
Then, we often want to eat. Whether hungry or not.
(Or smoke, drink, clean, work, gamble, etc).
Escape from the feelings! Change the channel!
But what if you’re treating these wild and moveable sensations in the body like their the enemy, or something you shouldn’t be experiencing?
Long ago, when I was first healing from truly dreadful off-balance eating, I discovered there were a few feelings on my list that I never wanted to feel. Ever.
Anger.
Fear.
Humiliation.
Aloneness or solitude I could handle. Sadness, that was OK. Anxiety was uncomfortable but not the end of the world. Excitement or nervous anticipation was partially fun. Disappointment I thought I could quickly recover from.
But deep anger, resentment, fury, rage–these I judged as horrible. Only mean people have those feelings. Bad people.
Fear was also too uncomfortable. I felt nauseated, couldn’t sleep, short of breath. I’d do anything to get away from fear! (Including eat when not hungry).
Humiliation was the worst of all. Feeling ashamed, or guilty that I did something wrong or someone disapproved of me. Ugh. It was the worst of all. Then I really wanted to hide in my house and eat sweet things, so I felt sweeter about the world. (It never worked for long term).
Something that helped immensely over time, was taking a look at feelings I disliked the most….the ones I considered ENEMIES….
….and judge them, using The Work of Byron Katie.
Is it true you’re a bad person if you experience fear, or anger, or shame?
YES.
Look at those other people over there, acting terrified, or rageful, or deeply self-effacing. Gross. So unpleasant, and unattractive.
Can you absolutely know it’s true it makes someone a BAD person if you experience these human feelings?
No. Reality includes all these feelings. It appears to be a part of the human condition.
How do you react when you believe something’s awful and bad?
I avoid it. I try to get away, stay away, and crush it within. I try not to be angry, fearful, or shameful….ever, ever, ever.
If I DO experience these feelings, I eat.
I don’t ask anyone for help (they’ll think I’m bad, too). I don’t have any other outlets. I try to control what can’t be controlled. Feelings.
It’s a ton of work. I have to stay home a lot, and not be exposed to other people.
But who would I be without this thought? Who would I be without this belief that having these uncomfortable feelings makes me BAD? (Or anyone bad)?
You can look at that other person who’s feeling big feelings you don’t like and see what you’d think of them without the belief they shouldn’t be expressing that feeling.
What would this be like?
Wow.
I’d be feeling these terrible feelings, like riding a roller coaster, and letting them run their course–even hearing their message. Honoring what they have to say. No getting over them.
Allowing the feeling to be here, and allowing me to be a human being feeling it, without judgment.
That feels like freedom.
Turning the thought around: feelings (anger, fear, humiliation) are GOOD to feel. Not bad. It’s only my thoughts about these feelings that are bad, not the feelings themselves.
When I began to live this way with my feelings, even just a little bit, guess what happened to the urge to eat? It relaxed.
It was no longer necessary to stuff in food aggressively with anger. It was no longer necessary to panic with ice cream in bed. It was no longer necessary to shamefully buy something I liked to eat, and eat too much of it in my car.
In the Eating Peace Process, we spend an entire module or segment of the program looking at how to work with feelings.
Especially the ones we resist or hate.
Who would we be without our stories about feelings?
Two live calls per week and many presentations you’ll listen to on your own, this course offers you a structure to thoroughly look at your relationship to food, eating and your body from every angle. To read more about it the Eating Peace Process please visit here.
